chapter 14 - gay or European

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Sorry I couldn't help myself.
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Harry and draco watch in amusement as they start arguing over draco being gay or not
Pansy: of course he is gay!!
Ron: I have seen him date tons of girls. He isn't gay..
Blaise: maybe he is hiding his straight ness. But he is gay
Hermione was just about to say something when music starts playing and pansy starts singing

Pansy: There! Right There!

She points at draco

Pansy: Look at that tan, that tinted skin
Look at the killer shape he's in
Look at that slightly stubly chin
Oh Please he's gay, totally gay

Ron: I'm not about to celebrate
Every trait could indicate the totally straight expotriate.
This guy's not gay, I say not gay

Everyone but harry and draco: That is the elephant in the room
Well, is it relevant to assume
that a man who wears perfume
is automatically matically fay?

Blaise: But look at his coiffed and crispy locks

Pansy: Look at his silk translucent socks

Ron: There's the eternal paradox
Look what we're seeing

Blaise: What are we seeing?

Ron; Is he gay?

Pansy: Of course he's gay

Hermione:  Or European?

Everyone but harry and draco: ohhhhhh
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or european?

They all look at harry who blushes

Harry: Well, hey don't look at me

They turn back to face each other

Hermione:  You see they bring their boys up different
in those charming foreign ports
They play peculiar sports

Everyone but harry and draco: In shiny shirts and tiny shorts
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks
They will say things like "ciao bella"
while they kiss you on both cheeks

Pansy;  Oh please

Everyone but harry and draco: Gay or European?
So many shades of gray

Harry starts singing trying to help his friends

Harry:  Depending on the time of day
The French go either way

Everyone but draco: Is he gay or European?
or-

Hermione:  There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk
Seen it on every guy at work
That is a metro-hetro jerk
That guy's not gay, I say no way

Everyone but draco: That is the elephant in the room
Well is it relevant to presume
that a hottie in that costume

Pansy:  Is automatically, radically

Blaise:  Ironically, cronically

Pansy: Scurtinly, curtainly

Blaise: Genetically, netically

Blaise and pansy: Gay!
Officially Gay!
Officially Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay!

Draco winks at pansy

Pansy and blaise: Dammit

Everyone but draco: Gay or European?

Ron: So stylish and relaxed

Everyone but harry and draco: Is he gay or European?

Harry blushes slightly singing the next line

Harry: I think his chest is waxed

Hermione:  But they bring their boys up different there
It's culturally diverse
It's not a fashion curse

Everyone but draco:
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code

Hermione:
Yet his accent is hypnotic
but his shoes are pointy toed

Everyone but draco:
Huh
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray

Blaise; But if he turns out gay
I'm free at 8 on saturday

Everyone but harry and draco:
Is he gay or European?
Gay or european?
Gay or Euro-

Hermione interrupts them and says

Hermione: Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy
I have an idea I'd like to try

Blaise : The floor is yours

Hermione goes over to draco

Hermione: So Mr. Malfoy...
This alleged affair with Ms. Greengrass
has been going on for...?

Draco rolls his eyes

Draco: 2 years

Hermione:  And your first name again is...?

Draco:  draco

Hermione:  And your boyfriend's name is...?

Draco: potter

Everyone but harry and harry gasps

Draco; I'm sorry! I misunderstand
You say boyfriend
I thought you say best enemy
Pottee is my best enemy

Harry having enough of hiding sighs and sings

Harry:  You bastard!
You lying bastard!
That's it
I no cover for you, no more!

Peoples
I have a big announcement
This man is gay and European!

He turns to draco

Harry: you've got to stop your being
a completely closet case

He turns to everyone else

Harry: No matter what he say
I sware he never ever ever swing the other way

Harry turns back to draco

Harry: You are so gay
You big parfait!
You flaming boy in cabaret

Draco:
I'm straight!

Harry: You were not yesterday

So if I may, I'm proud to say
He's gay!

Everyone but harry and draco: And European!

Harry; He's gay!

Everyone but harry and draco:And European!

Harry:  He's gay!

Everyone but harry and draco: And European and Gay!

Draco: Fine okay I'm gay!

Everyone but harry and draco: Hooray!

Draco and harry: we are gay!
Everyone stops singing and bursts out laughing. Before ron stops and releasing what they sang
Ron: wait are you and malfoy actually dating, harry?
Everyone looks at harry waiting for the answer

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