Neat Freak [Existential Crisis]

In This Dirty World...

| Ugu... Don't listen to the song if your type isn't really err...Japanese or Any foreign music unless you wanna see how I got these "thoughts". It's pretty meaningful honestly even if you don't love Vocaloid or foreign songs. It's worth a shot, no? ^^; |

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        "We don't need these unclean feelings, or these unpleasant thoughts. Look, for everyone to be happy is expecting too much, it's this dirty." A person spoke. I opened my eyes just to see a stranger. Confused, I pushed myself to walk. Moving made me rather exhausted. Every movement I made was agonizing making it feel like it was so much work. I wheezed like an asthmatic person, and my foot ached a shit ton as I walked for no reason...

        Silence filled the infinite, white room and sanity slowly drained. A sudden feeling came up. I felt something peculiar as my body made me feel like I moved a limb. The feeling came back again just to make me go back to the painful reality.

        "Everyone is different," people say. Our values and pleasures are the same but that's just because "we're humans." The ideal way of life, with pure, proper boy-girl relationships . . . That's right, when we say we're lonely, and just pretend to understand each other, the truth is, we're mistaking satisfaction for love. We really don't understand anything.

        Again, I got snapped back to reality. My hands were placed underneath my jaw and my elbow resting on the kitchen table. I saw Sidel just staring at me with a vapid expression, telling me to go buy groceries then clean the dorm afterwards. A routine we always do each and every week or a month, depending on how much money we have as University students (We switch every week anyway).

        I grabbed my navy blue, pull-up hoodie, and my plain black converse since it's fall now, and honestly, it's freezing! Before I was to go outside, he handed me a list of things that were essential even though I already made mental notes of everything. It's a habit of mine now. 

I walked out without a word saying, "See ya!" or "G'bye." to my friend since it already feels like it's useless to say so. I drove my car to this sad and happy place called Walmart. Employees look SO full of joy, and it is here where (almost) everything you need, convenient or not.

        I entered through the automatic door and walked straight to aisle 3 just to get frozen food to last us a week or a month. I heard more people coming in to aisle 3 and turned my head to look around. I unconsciously listen to people's conversation which is a bad habit of mine that I've had for quite a long time. . . Two women and one guy around my age to my right kept talking about how annoying depressed people can be; behind me to the left were two guys trying to find ways to criticize what people around them look like.

        I reverted to my mind again. We're pretty useless. The human race. In our corrupted feelings, our hearts are like stone, the disastrous scene we all seek is already so dirty...don't even try to touch me with your filth. "Your lament stories...have been continuing...for a while now. What are you trying to do?" -- poking fun, jeering and when you have had enough, no one laughs, isn't that strange?  Always worrying too much about your appearance...Almost a though you're facing your enemy. 

        Just for a while, I went back to reality. I ended up looking like a weirdo to people around me since I've been staring at a box of frozen pizza placed on my hand.

        Suddenly, this kid starts crying. He keeps stomping his right foot to show demand to what item he wants bought at the aisle that has clothes and toys. I stared blankly towards the direction of the furious kid...

        It's quite perilous inside that heads of yours. We're always contaminated with greed. We quickly get tired of what we obtain and throw it out anyway. The next day, we instantly find our next toy and say, "I don't have anyone but you." In the end, I guess it's sort of like that. After all, humans are quite selfish beings. We slowly are being dyed in dirty colors.

        "What am I doing, thinking about a kid like that?" I laughed to myself. He wouldn't understand it right now anyway. But also, it's not like I was only directing what I thought towards that kid but to people in general.

        I walked towards the cashier counter with a glowing number "7" above her head. Transferring all the items I brought with me from my cart to the counter, the cashier looked at me confused but with a smile. She told me that she rarely sees a guy who would do this type of grocery shopping. "Thank you." I smiled, taking it as a compliment. I went through the exit, walked towards my car and unlocked it. I sat on the driver's seat, but I didn't start the engine.

        My mind continued to deter me from my current chore. We're pretty useless the human race. In this world filled with egoism, taking a breath is difficult. Everyone understands that we're selfish, right? The things we say, the things we do, everything bad that exists in our human self. It's all trash. I wish people would stop filling the garbage. It's suffocating me. I later came back to my dorm where my friend is.

        "Why'd you took so long? Usually, it just takes you 'bout an hour or so, Chi." asked Sidel.

        "I was just doing some stuff and got lost on the way back. But hey, I'm here. Let's just play Skyrim Online and clean up later."

WRITER'S NOTE:

Yeah, I know, who would be thinking this kind of thing while they're doing stuff? Oh, maybe someone who's in really really deep crap. Yeah. Problems here, problems there, you got it! Humans are so amazing.

2016 Note: Lol, some narrative skills  I got here *laughs*... I could've done better but this one was for those weekly Stories or any writing piece for my 8th grade Literacy class. I had to come up with something to get a grade so yeah... 

| The story I have written was inspired by people around me and a song I always listened to. I'm really sorry if the story has a seriously vapid tone.... I really am. |