August (Feelings #5)

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August 12, 2019

What is the deal between you, me and Augusts?

First, two years ago, I found out I have feelings for you

Then, last year, after you've been gone for half a year and radio silence, I realized that you and your friends are not my type of friends

And been hurt for all that,

I decided to end our friendship

Now, in a common birthday party

We go together

And actually have a good time

And again more fun today

Seriously

I fucking never forgot you or what?

Yes, I'm kind of overwhelmed by these feelings

But what are they exactly?

I miss having guys talking to me?

I miss this kind of attention?

I know that at least I didn't make a fool of myself today or any other day with you recently

And I know because when we talked, it made me happy

And I know I was kind of nervous talking to you 

But I am not jealous

I am not deceiving myself

I am not feeling like reaching for you

But I am longing to say your name

Longing to spend more time

Longing to not let this die

Guess time will tell how this unfolds one more time

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