Broken

The Lovely Killer: Intro

And sometimes I dream about us holding hands and walking down the park on a sunny day. You're wearing that gray shirt which I love on you because it makes your eyes look bluer. You're also wearing those worn out blue jeans and I'm wearing your sweatshirt. You have those slight wrinkles under your eyes from laughing and smiling a lot. We go shopping and you tell me that you like every dress after I try them on trying to pick just one and I get mad at you for not helping me pick it out, but then we get over it. And we go out for ice cream. And share a vanilla sundae because vanilla is your favorite ice cream flavor. I'm not sure if it's still your favorite ice cream flavor cause' you're not really here anymore and I miss you. My other half.

But it's okay because I know that it probably isn't your fault. And you probably want to be here with me, or maybe you don't, but I like to think you do. Because every single time I imagine you smile my heart starts beating faster for half a second because that's the smile I fell in love with, and then it beats faster for another minute because I miss that smile.

I remember the first time you told me you loved me, and I swear I thought you were an angel. Because your eyes just made you seem that way. And you stayed perfect to me, even when things got bad. When you started smoking, and drinking, and staying out late. I still loved you and I still love you.

And then things got even worse and people told me that you were sleeping around and that you had another girl. And it broke my heart but part of me still loved you. And I know it was wrong that I still wanted to be with you. And you'd come to my house wasted, and you'd come to school with your arms around another girl. And more and more people would tell me about those parties and those girls. And somehow I still felt lucky that I was still dating you because I felt like if you still kind of cared about me. And every single time that I though "gee maybe I can do better" I'd look into your eyes and fall in love with you all over again. You had the bluest eyes I'd ever seen.

My friend's would tell me to move on but by now my whole world was you. And slowly they unfriended me, and slowly you were the only thing I thought of.

And then my family life crumpled. And my dad started hitting my mom, a lot. And my mom would apologize. She would say sorry over and over again. But sorry was never enough.

Then one day mom burned the steak a little and it was sort of black on the edges and dad had drunk some beer. And dad was mad. So dad took the same pan mom had just cooked the steak in and he told her to stay still. And for some reason mom actually stayed still, I still don't understand why. And I don't know why I'm going on, on this little rant but I feel like I have to write it down just in case I randomly die one day. And so mom stayed still and dad told her to take off her shirt, she obeyed him and took it off. And dad held the hot pan on her back. And I could see the tears rolling down mom's cheek and I could hear the sizzle of the pan against her bare back and I inhaled the smell of burning flesh. And dad laughed. And I watched. And then I had enough.

I watched my mother, who was once a strong woman crumple in front of my eyes and I though about you, Zack. And I thought about the way you would leave me for other girls while dating me. And I thought about that one time you slapped me for being jealous. Lastly, I thought about those blue eyes of yours. Those blue eyes that looked eerily a lot like my father's and I reached for the kitchen knife.

And I didn't falter for a second as I slid it through my father's spine.

But it was too late because as my father, the man who would tuck me into bed at night bled to death, my mother watched me. And her eyes didn't remind me of you Zack, her eyes reminded me of death. Death because by now mom's back was open, and the blood was soaking her pants and she was slowly dying. And as I sat there on the floor at age 17 and watched my mother and father die, I blamed myself for it and honestly, it was my fault.

Now I miss my dysfunctional family and I miss you Zack. I'm sorry for not being good enough but I promise, one day I will. I'll make you love me.

A/N

Where's Zack? Yo why is she soOoOo obssesed with him. I have the next couple of Chapters planned and 2 typed out, don't want to overcrowd it and keep posting. I feel like if none of my stories are actually getting noticed, I have a total of 10 fans, half which are probably inactive not sure though, guys prove me wrong please! Shoutout to Sarrita14 (I probably typed your username wrong so I'll check later when I'm not in the middle of math class) for supporting me :) and Laniwa for being awesome. Okay hope I didn't creep anyone too much, my mom read it because I left it open on the desktop and questioned if I was normal.. Or planning to kill her. She blames the video games. Okay yeah... Advice on the story? Comment below homies.

Awkward moment when the authors note is almost as long as the chapter itself. >.>

We good? WE GOOD