My name is Cesia, and i have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Aeion. I always thought of him as a friend until nag college kami, I found that I fell in love with him. Days passed, lumalalim ang pagtingin ko sa kanya and I took a step and confessed my love for him. Hindi nagtagal naging kami, pero we loved each other in different ways. Lahat ng atensyon ko na sa kanya pero sa side niya, madaming babae, siguro para sa kanya I was just another girl.
"Aeion, gusto mong mag mall?" I asked.
"I can't " he said
"Bakit, busy kaba? wala naman kayong exam bukas ah?" I asked again, baka kase mapilit ko na siya this time pero nagkamali ako.
"I am going to meet a friend" he said.
He was always like that. He met girls infront of me na parang wala lang. The word "love" only come out from my mouth since nakilala ko siya, I had never heard him say "I love you" before. No anniversaries at all. Wala siyang sinasabing kahit ano from the first day na naging kami pero lagi niya akong binibigyan ng pink card araw araw pero walang nakasulat, I don't know why.
Then one day..
"Umm.. Aeion.. I... " kinakaban ako kung paano ko sasabihin sa kanya ang tatlong salitang 'yon.
"What?"
"I love you.. " I said.
"You.... Uhmm.. Just take this pink card and go home. " he said, at tuluyan na akong umuwi.
That was how he ignored my three words and handed me the pink card. Then he disappeared. The pink card i received from him everyday filled my box, sobrang dami na pero kahit ni isang pink card wala paring sulat.
Then one day came, 18th birthday kona, naligo na ako at kumain. after that, i stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. Hanggang sa gumabi na hindi parin siya bumabati kahit manlang hi or hello wala and it was tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 3am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of my house, sobrang saya ko 'non.
"Aeion... "
"Here take this.." He said
Again, he handed me a pink card.
"What's this? I asked, kase naguguluhan na talaga ako kung bakit lagi niya akong binibigyan ng pink card pero wala namang special na nakalagay don.
"Hindi ko naibigay sayo kahapon iyan, kaya binibigay ko ngayon. Sige, uuwin na ako bye. " He said.
"Wait... What? Gusto mo bang malaman kung anong meron ngayon? I said
"Huh? "
I felt so sad, akala ko naalala niya yung birthday ko kaya siya pumunta. Aalis na sana niya ng bigla akong sumigaw.
"Aeion... Wait!" I shouted.
"May sasabihin ka? "Tanong niya.
"Tell me, tell me you love me..."
"What? "
"Tell me" I said, at tuluyan ng bumagsak ang luha kong kanina ko pang pinipigilan.
"I don't want to say anything.. If you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else. "That was he said and he ran off.
After that day, nagkulong lang ako sa kwarto ko at umiyak ng umiyak. Di niya ako tinatawagan but he just continued handing me a pink card every morning outside my house.
After a month, I got myself together and went to the school. Napatigil ako ng bigla ko siyang nakitang may kasamang ibang babae, he had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me. Tumakbo akong umiiyak papunta sa bahay at napatingin sa pink cards na binibigay niya lagi sakin. Bakit binibigyan niya lagi ako ng pink cards, I threw the pink cards around. Then suddenly the phone ring. It was him. He told me to come outside my house. I kept reminding myself na kakalimutan ko na siya. Then he came to my sight holding a pink card. but this time, kakaiba ito kumpara sa binibigay niya sakin dati.
I grabbed the pink card from his hand and threw it on the road.
"I don't need your pink cards and I don't want to see you anymore!! "I spitted all the words that were inside me, but unlike other days, his eyes are shaking.
"I'm sorry" he apologized in a tiny voice and start walking over the road to pick up the pink card.
"Fuck! Bakit mo pa yan pinupulot, tinapon ko na 'yan! Sabi ko na may halong galit.
Be he ignored..then.
Honk~honk~
With loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
"Aeion! Move away! " i shouted,thats how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me After that day, I had go through every day with guiltiness and sadness of losing him.
After 2 months, napagdesisyunan kong ilabas ang pink cards na binibigay niya lagi sakin dati. Those were the only gifts he left me since the day 1 we've been together. Naalala ko pa 'non lagi kong binibilang yung mga araw
na magkasama kami.
"One.. Two... Three.. " That's how I started to count the pink cards
"142.....143..." it all ended with 143 pink cards.
Bigla kong binuksan yung pang 142 na card na binigay niya sakin dati. Bigla akong napaiyak ng makita ko kung ano yung nakasulat don.
"I love you"
Ngayon ko narealized na, that his heart was always been my side, protecting me. Why I didn't realize that he loves me so much. I took out the last pink card he gave to me before the incident.
"Cesia... Do you know what today is? We've been loving each other for 143 days. Do you know what 143 means? It means I love you. I couldn't say I love you.. Uhm since I was too shy.. If you forgive me and take this pink card, I will love you everyday till I die. " The tears flowing out of me.why? I asked god, why do I only know about all of this now? He can't be by my side but he loved me until his last minute.
End.
©Lorrainebow
05/06/20
