Merry Christmas

"Do you know what? I'm going to Japan on January first. I'll stay there for good."
Ken said in a low tone.

I froze and became speechless, Ken just continued talking.

"Stell will go there 3 months after. I'll be staying at Justin's for a while."

I bit my lower lip trying not to let a single tear fall down on my cheek, I just sighed.
"Ken, I am a police now. I reached my goal, but I still haven't reached my dream."
As I finished my sentence my tears started to fall. The crickets and my sobs are the only sounds that we can hear. While crying I think he went downstairs to give me some time. I looked at the sky after I emptied five bottles of beer. I was intoxicated with alcohol. Even though people say that drinking can let you forget the things that you want to forget, why can't I forget the fact that my best friend is leaving?

Ken and I met and became best friends since elementary. We were like brothers who can't be detached from each other. Things have changed the way I felt towards him when I was in Highschool.

Way back in my Grade 8th days I was sitting on a bench reading my all-time favorite Mangga. I was in the middle of the climax when someone hugged me from behind.

That scent.

I could feel my heart starts to beat so fast, and suddenly I felt this tingling sensation. I can feel that my blood started to rush up on my cheeks. I knew it was him.

JOSH! GUESS WHAT? STELL SAID YES!! WE ARE GOING ON A DATE!!!! He shouted with glee.

As he said those words. I felt everything shattered. The feeling where the skies just suddenly fell on your shoulders? Worse than that. I felt like dying.

Then I realized, I fell in love with my best friend.

The cold wind touched my cheek and I came back to my senses.
HA. You are Insane. I just shook my head, wiped my tears and took out my phone. I tried to open my twitter and just tweet whatever I want to say.

My dream that I couldn't reach. a tear dropped on my phone.

I was thinking of all the possible ways to stop him from going, but damn I have nothing to think of. Out of frustration I took out the emptied bottles and threw it. I kicked the chairs and ruined everything around me. I looked at the sky once more and said,

Lord Im sorry for what Ill do.

I took out my pistol that I just received this morning. I stared at it for a long time and reminisce everything. Those memories with him. His smiles. His voice.

I tried to point the gun at me. I just want to kill myself but a shadow of a person from behind appeared. He tried to reach for my gun, but I held it so tight. I faced that person behind me. My vision became blurry, I guess it was because of the alcohol. It was so fast. I heard a gunshot.

Little did I know, I shot my best friend.

I saw him kneeled down, holding his chest that was drenched with his own blood.
No, No, No! I went to Ken and hugged him. I let him lay down on my lap.

This is all my fault! This should've been me! Ken!

Josh, please remember that I love you with all my heart. I—fell in love with you way b—back when we were grade 6. I just couldn't confess because I am a coward. But I really love you in a romantic way.

Ken said in his weakest tone. He was trying hard to say those words.

Stell knew about this so she wanted for us to stay in Japan. Also to stop my feelings for you.

Ken I cried.

He tried to move but it was too painful for him. I held his hand and told him,
I'm going to call the ambulance.

But

Its too late.

He stopped breathing and closed his eyes. His hand unclasped with mine. My love, died because of me. That should've been me. But because of my stupidity, it was him who took the bullet.

I couldn't control this pain. What have I done?
I put him down. Then I took the pistol and pointed it on my head.

You are my dream that I couldnt reach. I said as I tried to pull the trigger.
I guess well see each other again, my love Merry Christmas.

Everything went black.