Baking My Way Into Your Heart

11 - Complications

Derek was sitting at his desk in his apartment, history book open, highlighter in his hand. He was staring down at the words on the page, but nothing seemed to stick. The only thing that seemed to register in his brain was this:

'What did I just do?'

Derek tossed his highlighter aside and slammed his book shut before burying his hands in his hair.

Stiles had woken him up that morning on the beach. It was already five and Stiles needed to get back to his apartment to get ready for work. Derek had half a mind to just ignore his talking pillow, opting to hit the snooze button to get back to sleep, but it wouldn't stop buzzing. Once he opened his eyes and realized his surroundings, he apologized for hitting the boy on the nose and quickly got him back home. And it was once Derek was back at his own apartment that he really came to terms with everything that had happened that night.

It was the first time in a long time that he had talked about his parents' death. And it was the first time ever he had done so with someone other than a family member or a professional. Derek was more than grateful that Stiles had been there for him and had cheered him up with baseball and Oreos of all things, but it was that last moment before falling asleep that really made him nervous for two reasons.

Firstly, he was afraid of what Stiles thought of him after practically clinging to him.

'Ugh…Good move with that one.' Derek mentally berated himself. 'But…' He paused, loosening his grip on his hair. 'It's not like he pushed me away. He actually held me. That's gotta mean something, right?' He frowned, sighing heavily. 'It means he's a supportive friend. Obviously I was upset, so he was comforting me. That's all.' Derek found himself a little disappointed at the thought. 'He was being a good friend and I practically throw myself on him. God, how pathetic are you?' The whole thing left Derek feeling more than just a little embarrassed.

And secondly, there was one more fact that was staring him right in the face; one that he couldn't exactly accept.

'I'm not in love with Stiles… I can't be in love with Stiles. Stiles is… Stiles is – He's Stiles! Sono. Just no.'

He had tried convincing himself that everything between them was fine. That the night hadn't made a difference in their friendship. He tried going into the coffee shop that morning like normal, but when he caught a glimpse of the boy busily filling the display case with freshly baked cranberry muffins, he felt his heart begin to pound, his throat begin to dry and his palms begin to sweat all from just looking at him. Needless to say, Derek freaked out and fled the scene.

'That's just anxiety. I'm nervous about what he thinks about me so I panicked. That's all,' he rationalized. He sat up, pulling his hands out of his hair to tap his fingers lightly against his desk. 'I mean, obviously he means something to me. He's my friend. But it can't be love. That's just insane.' Hell, the mere thought of the word made Derek uncomfortable.

He groaned. "Forget it! Just study. Just open your book and study." He flipped his book open again, snatching up his highlighter and popping off the cap. He looked down at the words, urging himself to read and focus on the material.

For the next twenty minutes, he sat there, reading the same sentence over and over again, trying to make sense of it. But the only thing registering in his brain was this: