Slow Down

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Sitting in the driver’s seat of the car she watched the scenery go by. It’s another one of those days were she doesn’t know where she’s going from where she is in life. The world is the limit but soon she’ll find a reason to stay where she gets to. It’s been years since she packed up her bags and left. She left her life behind after it became too much. She left her life as Elizabeth and started her life as Lily.

            The trees are a blur as she speeds further down the empty road. Listening to the music blaring through the speakers and leaking out the windows, Lily can only think of the one thing she’s leaving behind. She’s leaving him behind. He was the guy who she wasn’t sure if she really loved. The only thing keeping her mind frantically running is what she’ll never know. Days before leaving she got his number not sure what she would say to him. Lily wasn’t even sure if she’d see him again.

            In a way, it was her fear that he wouldn’t feel the same that got her to push the petal down, and head out of town. Lily has always known to just get up and leave when the moment tells her too. She couldn’t rely on her magic 8-ball again. Looking at her phone, she wanted to text him and say good-bye. Lily didn’t know what to say, her heart was saying the opposite of her mind. For now, she needed to get away. It’s what she did the best.

            As she looked at the back mirror and it was blocked by luggage. The rain dropped onto the window as she turned back to the front. Closing her eyes, she wanted to fall asleep. She’d been driving for a couple hours and she didn’t know any of the streets and buildings she was passing. Thinking of the college, she smirked imagining of him. Lily wanted to turn back but it wasn’t what she knew how to do.

            Wanting to text him she just shook her head feeling like it was too late. She didn’t need change after the amount she’s had, but it was a moment thing. Lily was tired of the classes and after finals, she could move on. For once, she had stopped long enough to get something done. She was starting to see what she was going to miss. The parties and raves on the weekends. Her friends that she hung out with in between classes. She was the smart chick in class and yet the group called her the dumb blonde.

            Maybe for once she’ll find the person who sees who she can be. Seeing her reflection in the rear view mirror, the car fades and she thought about who she really is. Behind the silver eye shadow, thick black eye liner, and red lip stick; was a person hidden away, in a deeper reality. All those nights staying up late, creating alter egos of someone she could be. Those characters are a part of her mind and lived separate lives of how she wanted too. They were always someone she could try to be, but it would never be the same.

            Seeing a red light her foot slammed on the break. She heard her tires start shriek as she tried to turn the radio down. Seeing a car speeding her direction, she swerved to miss them. Her car slid and as she looked up, she breathed out in relief that she was safe. Hearing a horn, she turned her head to her window. She saw a truck feet from her head. She closed her eyes not wanting to see the bright lights.

            Lily felt her head hit the windshield. Her airbag went off and she felt pain in her head. Moving her arm to her left temple, she felt the blood sticking to her fingers. Her hair was sticking to her bloody skin and she thought about screaming. Closing her eyes, this was the all or nothing moment. She grabbed her cell out of her shirt and texted him. Seeing “message sent” she let her body relax as she waited for the pain to go away. Sirens started and Lily laid her head back on the slowly deflating air bag. She was too tired to keep her eyes open for much longer.

Waking up Lily didn’t remember the place she was at. Or even how she had gotten there. Seeing the bed it was her blanket from her dorm bed, but nothing else was the same. Moving her arm, she saw the needles taped to her skin. Sitting up she didn’t know what to do. Seeing the bag laying on the end of the bed, she didn’t know whose it was. Turning her attention to the window Lily saw a familiar person.

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