The Only One

Chapter 3

Chapter 3: TW homophobic slur

“Heyyyyyyy, Janus!! Haven’t seen you in way too long, dude, sup?” He’d known Janus last year, but they’d never been friends or anything until Janus texted Virgil a few times over summer.

He heard some girl mutter from behind him, “Queer.”

He turned around and asked if she needed help getting to class or something.

“No. We have most of the same classes, I can follow your stupid purple hair. Are you a faggot, or something?”

He turned back to Janus, putting on a smirk and commenting on how annoying she was, but Janus was watching her walk away and grinning.

“What a bitch. I like her.”

Gross. Her? Virgil shook his head. If the two of them started hanging around Virgil together, the girl might make Janus realize how gay Virgil was. He could deal with putting on an act for everyone at school. He’d really rather his sexuality didn’t get out into the common mind of the school. There were a lot of people at the school known for being raging homophobes. It was just another thing he didn’t want to have to think about.

~a few months later~

“And this makes the ice caps melt, resulting in habitat loss. The polar bears are dying fast and--”

“Hey, could I join them?”
Everyone laughed. Virgil was well aware that this was the effect his school persona was meant to have, but even after only two months of school, he was finding it exhausting to maintain.

The kid went back to his presentation-- Roman was his name?-- but Virgil noticed he kept looking at him with concern, and kept it up for the rest of class. Virgil couldn’t help but notice Roman’s eyes. He could get lost in those eyes. They pulled you in, told you it could be alright. But they were vibrant, too, and determined-- small explosions of amber surrounded with the warmest walnut brown.

He shook himself and looked away. “Explosions of amber”? Sure, his eyes were beautiful, but he sounded like he was writing a bad romance novel.
Wait-- did Janus see him looking at Roman like that? 
He definitely did, he’ll tell someone stupid and you’ll just be the cringey emo faggot in the corner, and when did everything get so damn loud, where did all the oxygen go, why can’t you keep even a single secret
He ran out of the classroom.
It shouldn’t have been hard to keep that a secret, you’ve been ignored and dismissed enough at all your other schools, this is why you’re supposed to keep your act up

He got to his locker and collapsed, dizzy and panicking. He couldn’t breathe, and lack of oxygen paired with low blood pressure was making him cold and faint. He was drenched in freezing sweat, and he felt tears streaking down his face without any feeling with them-- he wasn’t crying, it was a forced physical reaction. He felt someone touch him and yelped. The hand lifted immediately as a soft, soothing voice said, “I can go if that’s what you need. Let me help you however I can. Attacks are the worst, I really do get it.”

Virgil wasn’t sure who was talking but he suddenly needed someone desperately. He instinctively reached towards whoever it was and held onto them tighter than he thought was possible. They smelled like wood smoke and caramel, but it wasn’t so intense that it bothered Virgil. After a few minutes the person felt him relax and start to breathe easier.

“Do you feel better now?” That was Roman’s voice.
“Yeah, mostly… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t’ve made you- I--”

“Fag.”