The Saladmanders at Hogwarts

Surrounded but alone

(POV Az: wholovescatz )

You know how old grandmas look old and wrinkly and not-so-nice on the outside, but on the inside if you ask her she'd bake you cookies everyday for the rest of your life? That's always how I've thought of Hogwarts. Because when you're in your eight foster home with seven other kids, being somewhere they're not is pretty much like a vacation. Hogwarts is more like home. Maybe I don't have Gryffindor friends. Maybe I'm lonely and just read at lunchtime. Maybe my best friends are all in different houses. Even then, Hogwarts is the place I want to be all the time, all day, everyday. There aren't parents who aren't even yours to scream at you, there aren't older siblings (that aren't even mine) to bully you because you read too much, there aren't younger siblings to disrupt your personal reading space.

Well, except for Bethany. Bethany is a bully and I will continue to ignore her.

For some reason unbeknownst to me, Professor McGonagall still won't let me stay at Hogwarts on the summer holidays as well. I don't understand why. I don't want to go back to my mean foster parents who have threatened to throw me out seven times already. I told Cj about it.

Cj: Maybe she doesn't want you to stay because she can't be bothered taking care of you.

Thanks, Cj.

And then I asked Cat.

Cat: I'm sure she has her reasons.

Even more helpful. I know, I know, maybe it's stupid to want to live at your school, but it's better than having to live somewhere you're least wanted.

Please don't make me go through the depressing backstory. I don't want to.

First year I pretty much spent the whole time alone in the grounds, reading. Some days Bethany came and bullied me while I just kept reading. Other days I just talked absent-mindedly to the giant squid.

I remember seeing Eliza in quite a lot of my classes in first year, but I never really talked to her until maybe late in the year. She came up to me when I was reading my book, sitting against a tree on the grounds.

Eliza: Hello. I think I know you. Az, right?

I looked up from my book and saw her standing by herself.

Az: h-hi. Yes, I'm- I'm Az. You're Eliza?

Eliza: yes. Mind if I sit here? Cj is busy somewhere else and I feel like sitting with you. I think Cj would like you.

I smile to myself. That was possibly one of my favourite memories in my mind. Another one was meeting everyone else. They welcomed me with open arms, as if I belonged with them. Sometimes, in my dorm in second year, I would stare out the window and imagine what it would be like to be with them all the time.

I know it's a stupid thing to want but it really hurts. Especially because Mother Hen Cj is leaving next year and I might never see her again.

Shut up, you idiot. I think to myself.

I only get pulled out of my pool of depressing thoughts when Udj Udj nudges my shoulder painfully. Rubbing my arm, I look up to see the castle standing majestic as ever in the sun.

Udj Udj: It's good to be back.

I grin beside her.

Az: Yes. Yes it is.

The castle doors open and through the crowd I can see that the first-years haven't arrived yet. The tables are long, polished, and empty. None of the teachers are at the teacher's table yet.