Memories

Sunset

Let's take a trip down the memory lane!!! 

Oh childhood! Oh sweet, sweet childhood. 

What can we want more than to go back to childhood, that happy period of our life. I know that not everyone had the perfect childhood, but I am sure that everyone has at least one favorite memory of that period. Lets not lie ourselves about that, lets not focus only on the bad things. I know that some children had a terrible childhood, and others had a decent childhood. But all of us had one with goods and bad. Some of us weren't that lucky to have a good loving family and had to face a lot of things, I know that. 

What can I say about my childhood? I had a normal one, my parents were kind of present and when I say present I mean that I had them home but more than half of the time they were caught with work and didn't always had the time to play with me or do normal activities. I loved them 'till the sun and back. They made their best to keep me happy, they kept their fights away from my sight and managed to be contained every time they didn't agree on something. 

Now let's just take a moment and thing about every good thing that happened back then.

In my mind comes every moment I was playing with my best friend; every time we did a stupid thing and every time we laughed together; every time we fell out of a tree and bruised something and started crying; every time we were having a sleepover and we would stay up late just giggling. I miss the days when I used to be so innocent, with no worries. We had no idea what "to worry" means. That was something only adults had to do, but in no time we ended up being adults and having to worry about different things. Nobody warned us what is going to come for us, what's expecting us out there, in the real world. 

I miss those days when I was too excited to get out of kindergarten and go home just so I can play with my neighbour's dog, get home just so I can play more with Zay.

 We all can remember the birthdays. Oh yes, those were the days. All the presents and the decorations, oh and the cake; GOD, the cake. The days when we had a lot of friends because we were just kids, and even if we were mean with each other, we were still celebrating the birthdays together. 

                                                                           We were happy

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Who remembers those early years when we started to notice the difference between the girls and boys? Those days when we started to fall in love? To actually fall in love, not the kindergarten love. The early teenage love, when we noticed that boy is cute, and that girl is pretty and we had no idea what to do with ourselves. Let's be honest, we all miss those days, life was simpler then. We were experiencing love and feelings. We were learning about what we can say and what we can't say to a person. We were excited about sharing with our best friend the fact that we hold hands with that special person, when we had our first kiss. We were kids. We were kids who used to fall in love so innocently. Kids who had no idea what love had prepared us later. Kids for whom love meant to just hold hands and hug. 

It was pure. 

We were living our best life even if our parents used to tell us what we can do and what we can't do.

 Why talk only about the good parts and make it seem like there weren't bad parts? There were and we all know that. 

All those times when our parents would blame us for something we didn't do or telling us that we weren't good enough. That sticks with a kid his whole life, and some of us know that very well. Every family had its grey days and the children were the most affected. The period before high school was the hardest. I think it was for most of us, for those kids with strict parents. I was one of those and I was half mentally abused. I don't know why I said half, I was kind of. For me that's what it was but actually it was just my mom trying to stop me from making any kind of mistakes, stop me from suffering. My mom trying to get me more motivated by telling me that I'm stupid and I'm not good enough, telling me that I'm not going to make it.We have all been through that. We know how it is to always try and make our parents happy but never totally succeed that. My parents loved me and always kept me safe, made sure that they were strict enough so that nothing happens to me. I have to thank them for that. 

What about the first heartbreak? 

Haven't we all got through that? It seemed to be the end of the world at the moment, but look at you now. You got over it; you forgot him, or her. You went on with your life. You managed to stop crying after a few days, you had your best friends to help you get out of bed.They showed you that it is not the end of the world like you thought. You went out again and you met someone else, you got your heart broke again. You never stopped fighting, because you knew that someone out there is your soul-mate. You have always found something or someone that kept you sane. 

That felling when you find someone special and you think that they are perfect; they are exactly what you were looking for. You imagine your whole like with that one person.Everything is fine 'till one day that he changes his mind, or at least you see that. Maybe he was never looking for something serious with you; maybe he was just playing with you hoping that maybe he can get something from you. When he realized that you can't give them that, he slowly backed out, without you noticing. From always talking to you he started ghosting you slowly.From always wanting to hang out with you he started making up excuses; from always talking you got to the point where you two are not talking at all. He told you that you are his best friend,he promised you that even if someone else shows up in his life he is never going to leave you. He promised you that everything will be the same and you believed him; you were so naive to believe him. You caught feelings, he found someone, you told him that you are happy for him, you lied to yourself, he broke his promise that he won't leave , that you two will keep talking, but he didn't kept his promise. You chosen to let him go, you stopped text him, you thought twice before you made the call; but he reached out for help when he needed it, he acted like nothing has changed, but for you it was. For you everything in your life was changed because of one person. You got your heart broken again. You started to feel bad, you started to fight with your parents because of how you felt. You started to go out more and more and not care what others are saying about you. You started to get your life into your own hands. 

You started to grow.

 I started to grow.

 We need to understand that not everyone is good. We need to understand that we are going to get our heart broken a thousand times but we will learn. We will learn what to do and who to trust. We will learn when to give people the love they ask for and who deserves our time, trust and love.