Pages Through Time

One Letter At A Time

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Sirius Black is celebrating his eleventh birthday when his letter arrives. It is all he has ever dreamed of, and the words "you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry" typed in green ink are repeated in the back of his mind for quite some time after receiving the letter.

Instead of rejoicing the matter like he thought they would, Sirius is 11 when he understands his mother and father only care about the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black's reputation, not him. This was truly brought to light by his mother's sharp words.

"You better not ruin the image of our family as the newest member of the honorable house of Slytherin, do you understand me?"

Sirius Black is 11 when he nods his head in response and watches his family continue their breakfast like nothing important ever happened.

*

Sirius Black is 11 when the Black's family owl descends upon the Gryffindor table with a letter addressed to him. It's not a howler, his mother is far too sophisticated for that, but it might as well be. He is only 11 when he slouches ever so slightly as the words "disgrace," "disappointment," and "dishonor" wash over him.

Sirius is 11 when he finds out what his mother truly thinks of him. After all, the letter did not mince any words and "ashamed to call you my son" rings in his head for weeks. He is 11 when he crumples up the letter and storms away from the Great Hall, unaware of the three concerned faces that watch him leave.

*

Sirius is 15 and he is oozing blood on the Potter's expensive furniture. Any second now, Mrs. Potter will turn on him and scream about the ruined couch and blood-splattered carpets. When she comes near him and raises her arms he flinches away, ignoring the screaming pain his body makes when he moves.

She smiles gently and Sirius frowns. Is she excited to hurt him? If so, Sirius just hopes Mrs. Potter won't drag it out any longer than necessary. Instead of grabbing her wand and hurting Sirius like expected, she puts her arms around him and hugs him. Sirius is 15 and tenses up before realizing that this is what normal families do. He closes his eyes in his arms and allows himself to relax in the arms of someone who cared.

He is 15 when a single tear falls down his face as recent events begin to catch up to him.

Mrs. Potter just rubs his back and whispers to him, "It's all going to be alright Sirius. You're home now."

Sirius Potter née Black is 15 when he finally understands that family is not made with blood but rather with those who care about you.

*

Sirius Black is 19 when his mother sends him one final letter. This time he breaks down and begins to sob when he finds out his little brother, Regulus, was six feet under. Sirius is only 19 when Remus finds him in the living room, still clutching the letter as if it were his lifeline.

He is only 19 when he fumes as he finds out that his mother didn't even have the decency to invite him to the funeral. His funeral had been the day before, according to his gloating mother. Her letter stated just how "pleased" and "happy" Regulus would have been to find out he had not been there. Sirius is 19 when he realizes his brother died because of Voldemort's "cause."

Sirius is 19 and young, clutching Remus' hand for dear life as he stands before his brother one last time.

He crouches down and whispers as if Regulus could hear him. "It should be me in the grave. You were always meant to live."

His body shakes with silent sobs as he walks away, unable to handle anymore of this thing he now knows as grief.

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