Cloud Association: Pretty Boy Psycho

(PART ONE: TRAINEE) Affliction

My paintbrush clatters onto the desk as I notice a minuscule white dot on my fingernail. Not me, not me, not me. Please not me. I'm gonna have a heart attack. I push back on my chair, trace a circle round my heart, then spring up and pace round my attic room. This is ba-a-a-a-d.

"Alex, your dinner's ready," my mum calls from the bottom of the stairs.

I fling open my wardrobe then carefully start folding clothes into a rucksack. If I'm gonna lose my mind I'll lose it in style. Having packed my most favourite clothes, I put on some trendy shoes which go with the outfit I'm wearing.

"Alex, dinner. Did you hear me?"

Instinctively I snatch up my paint tin and shove it into the bottom of my pack. Unable to face eating dinner I climb out my sky window onto the roof then scale down the house. On reaching the pavement below I tuck my hair behind my ears and run. Want to reach the edge of the world, know I won't but at least lack a sense of direction so should lose myself in no time.

I sprint hard down my street. Past Casey's house. Keep going wanting to get out of Kensington, which is deemed almost absolutely safe from the affliction. My chest tightens as smooth pavements turn to cracks then potholes. The world seems a lot greyer over here even though it isn't. My neighbourhood manages to pretend they're not part of the rest of the world because they can afford to maintain their homes. Outside of Kensington dilapidated tower blocks are rooted in the ground; their roofs almost touch the Cloud Barrier. I find I've ended up down a dodgy alley. While I catch my breath, I lean into a splintering doorway. Stare at the white spot on my fingernail; taunting me. What am I going to do?

I slide down the door until I'm crouched on the stoop with my knees pulled up to my chest. Gradually the white spot will get bigger, turn grey, along with my skin. A few weeks later I'll grow insane, as my mind drifts away, bit by bit, until I'm numb, wandering mindless.

Rock rock, back and forth. Give a sniff as a tear slides down my cheek. I could give Casey's door a knock. Show him my nail. Ask for help. No. He'd only tell me I was being annoying bugging him with more tears.

Thought I was safe from the affliction. Both my parents have lived a solid forty years without getting any white marks. They have been lucky. I should have been prepared for finding a mark. Most people outside Kensington develop the affliction; it's the way things are. The norm.

"Eeek!" I shriek as a bony man with grey skin staggers past me. That'll be me in a couple of years, perhaps less.

Not happening. Not happening.

I totes feel super healthy meaning I can't be sick. Silly little spot.

Blinking back any more tears I find my feet. My hands shake. Ignoring those shakes I edge away from this alley. Part of me wants to go home. Can't 'cause they'll confine me to my room until my mind starts diminishing then do me a mercy killing. That happens to a lot of young people. Happened to poor Jess. Not me. I will live.

My feet wander out into open streets. Shabby citizens moan and murmur to themselves as they drift about in dazes. The odd coherent person walks by me either looking vacant or distressed. I crane my neck back trying to feel a breeze against my face. Nothing. I rarely feel breezes. I've heard air circulates better outside of Lundune. Outside. Yeah, I'll leave Lundune.

Herm which way is outside? I come to a standstill and slowly spin round on the spot. Look down streets trying to figure which one would be best to take. This is the first time I've come this far out my neighbourhood alone; sometimes I get to go to Bloomsbury with our school to support the basketball team. My dad told me the rest of the world was too damaged to venture out into. Mum was less pessimistic but eventually agreed with Dad after they had a blazing row because she took me on a ferry over to France on one of her jobs. That's the only time I have left Lundune.