The Other Cat

Prologue

Love is like black and white; Yin and Yang. It should be a perfect balance, not a perfect copy of the other. A piece of the other lies within your heart, as the other, indifferent.

When I was a kid, I was given a pair of necklaces. Two cats that were shaped like the Yin and Yang. I was hoping that I'd be able to give the other to my soulmate one day, thinking that the other cat would complete me.

My mother's love for my father was ideal, so was the other way around. They were humble and they never gave up on each other. You can really see their connection from afar even if they tried to hide it. However, they didn't. It wasn't until my father died, that my mother talked to me about love.

They weren't perfect, but they made it work. They didn't have secrets to hide or to share, because for them love was built on respect and trust. They were an ideal and rare pairing indeed.

My father once told her, "I feel alone whenever I'm with you. I feel no need for hiding, and I feel no need to pretend. I feel alone whenever I'm with you, because I can be myself without the fear of anyone else watching me."

Even if he is no longer with us now, those words still mean the world to my mother. Leaving a piece of him within her. They balanced each other nicely like Yin and Yang. They completed each other.

However, I am unsure of love. I thought I found it at least once or twice. I thought I was clinging onto something that seemed real. I tried to share all my vulnerabilities and understand theirs but alas, it was chaotic and it was too late for me to realize. I didn't respect myself, nor did I ever respect what the other wanted. Remembering the way my father looked into my mother's eyes, I ask myself what's wrong. When will I ever learn?

I thought love was something you see. Something convincing via the naked eye, like how you can't deny my parents' connection with each other. Trust was the foundation but ironically, I never earned the trust of those whom I thought I love. Furthermore, I also never earned the trust of my very own soul. I pretended to be something I was not out of desperation just to have someone, and to be someone.

Then I met this girl. She was astonishing, unlike any other girl I met. The moment we met was a time so unusual, something that felt new especially in my heart. We instantly clicked and I felt like she wouldn't judge for who I was. The way she talked to me calmed me, along with the way she laughs at my lame jokes. The way she shows her concern and how she understood me no matter how shy we were. She seemed real, felt real and I just couldn't get over her.

We officially met 7 months ago on the 14th of February, Valentines Day. We attended a small little reunion of our day care batch, and I'm surprised to even see a few familiar faces there too. Even if I did want to interact with my old acquaintances, I couldn't bring myself to. However, this girl and I instantly clicked. We were completely in a world of our own separated from the rest of the group and we would just converse non-stop. The fact that that moment was only our first personal interaction baffled me truly.

To my surprise, she started talking about me with her friend back in school. Once again, it felt real. She didn't have to hide that I was part of her life.

"Oh, Fiona's behind you!"  She looked behind her only to see me in a shy demeanour. Yet, her gaze was soft despite her exciting nature. We left with a smile on my face I couldn't quite replace.

I sat beside one of her friends during class for a quick period of time and asked, "Hey! So, does she really talk about me? Like, what does she talk about? About me?" Curiosity just flooded my mouth until I begin to notice they were about to answer. I heard them giggle awkwardly before they answered, "Yeah, she talks about you a lot, but at least she doesn't talk as much as you do." With shock still on my face I said, "God, she mentioned that too?"

She noticed that part of me. My talkative nature. She knew. Maybe this time, nothing can go wrong. Maybe this time, it really is love.
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Maybe I've found my soulmate.
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"She wants to talk to you." One of her friends approached me in a sad manner. I look at them and couldn't help but notice that something was wrong once the words left their mouth. Perhaps, I jinxed it.

When I turned around, she was there with awe in her eyes. She pulled me into a corner and looked into my eyes and said....
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"I'm sorry, but I think we should break up."
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My whole world shattered. I froze and I wanted to cry my heart out. Everything we've been through. That connection I thought we had. I scanned through everything I've done. Searched for the errors in my ways. I did everything my father would've done. I respected her decisions! I I trusted her with every part of me. I even asked her friends for support and advice. So what went wrong?
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Maybe I'll never find my soulmate.
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I returned to her friend looking for words to describe how I felt. Alas, nothing came out. They didn't take any sides though which I find interesting.

Tears won't come out, along with my screams. It was chaotic once again, and it was too late for me to realize. I furrow my eyebrows when I realised that I never did feel alone with her. There was always a lingering fear in the back of my head. That isn't such a bad thing as of now, I don't want to be alone.

I did, however, feel lonely. If she wasn't the other cat, who could it possibly be?