forest

Attempting

Chapter 8: Attempting

BoldChrysanthemum

     I wake up. Everything is normal for a moment. Then everything is terribly wrong. Everything had been going wrong, all at once. My world had been spinning out of control. I lay on the hard earth, the dirt sticking to my exposed skin. Soft winds blow through the misty air, and I feel the slight breeze whoosh into my eyes, causing them to water up 

     Through my peripheral vision, I watch as the last teardrops of the rainstorm find their way to the ground, dancing off of nearly dry flower petals. The forest is alive again. Songbirds warble melodies of new beginnings, but I am wallowing in my past. I can’t afford to do that. I stand up, yawning. Surveying the area around me, I find a passed out Emmi lying a few yards to my right, and a curled up Caroline shivering a few yards off into the distance. I blink, hoping to make the scene disappear. Then, with a flash, I feel all the memories of the past two days hit me; they break me to the ground. I fall over in agony. I remember the pain of Alex leaving us, and I feel throbbing in my head as I recall Caroline’s appalling Freeze. Internal thoughts ruin me as I evoke the memories of our home being demolished, of just how hopeless our situation is. And I can’t stand it.

     “Alright, so this is how it’s going to be,” I mutter, jumping up and running as far and fast as I can. I race along the riverbank, sidestepping the roots and stones intending to try and stop me.

        “I’m not going to give in!” I scream as loud as I possibly can, knowing that nobody is listening. I increase the strength of my voice until I feel as if my throat will burst, and my eardrums explode. “I’m going to get through this!”

        I dart through the obstacles, ignoring the pain in my legs. I sprint faster. Trees fly by me, objects in the background. I won’t stop running, and I continue shouting. “No! This won’t stop me!” I’m panting now. My breaths come in staggered wheezes, and my voice begins to crack. “I won’t.” I choke in the air. “I won’t let it stop me.” I whisper.

     I make it back to the camp before either of my friends has stirred. I grin, knowing neither of themhave any idea of what I had just gone through. The adrenaline rush was still racing through my veins. On my way back I’d collected breakfast, and gingerly I place the sweet berries onto a ripped tree stump. I have news for the two oblivious girls. And I can’t wait one more moment to tell them.

     I twirl over to one of the human sized heaps on the ground, tentatively poking it. “Emmi?” I mutter. The figure on the ground twitches.

     “Whhhhat?” She murmurs in a monotone voice. Slowly, she sits up. “Where are- oh. Yeah.” Emmi rubs at her eyes, blinking away the last few wisps of sleep. “Is Caroline okay?” She askes, suddenly wide awake. Fear mirrors through both of our irises, and I take a deep breath.

     “I don’t know. But we’ll have to find out." I announce uncertainly. Caroline had mentioned something about the outside world. We don’t do that. We can’t do that. And I am afraid. Scared of the rules Caroline has broken. Frightened of Caroline herself. But most of all, I am terrified of the knowledge. Of the past. I don’t know if I even want to know.

     Emmi stands up and surveys our surroundings, just as I had tried to do last night. I watch her take in the destruction of the storm, and the field we are in. I see her look at the river with a smile on her face. Rivers are good. We didn’t have one near the Hallow before, so getting the necessary water had always been a chore. Emmi looks up at me. “I think this might just work.”

      “Of course it will.” I reply. “It’s perfect." Emmi raises her eyebrows at me, and I just smile secretively and point at the tree stump. Emmi and I promptly sit down and eat the berries that I found earlier.

     We sit in silence, until I see Caroline slowly standing up out of the corner of my eye. We rush over to her.

        “What? Where are we?” she asks, looking around. “Where is Alex? Why are you staring at me? What?”

     Emmi and I make eye contact. I have so many questions. More than Caroline has, I think. What had happened last night? How does she remember Alex? Does Emmi? I sit down, and Emmi echoes my action. “There was a storm, and the Hallow was destroyed.” Caroline’s eyes are wide. “We had to run; we had to find a shelter. Along the way, Alex left us.”

   “You mean he-“ “Who’s Alex?” Caroline and Emmi exclaim at the same time.

    “Alex was our best friend. He’d been with us the entire time. But after he died, his body disappeared, and both of you forgot about him.”

     “So, like a defense mechanism from our brains? We couldn’t deal with the pain, so we decided to block it out and forget?” Caroline asks 

     “I never really thought about it, but that makes sense. It’s just weird that you both reacted the same way, and so right away.” I sigh. At least some aspects make sense. “So, now we’re here, Hallow-less and Alex-less."

     “But I still can’t remember anyone else. There was no Alex.” Emmi announces, determination set in her tone.

         “Yes, there was.” Caroline battles back. “Just wait, maybe the memories will come back to you.”

        “No.” Defiance is set in Emmi’s eyes. I shrug. There are too many problems to deal with right now, and there is no point in worrying over something that will probably fix itself soon.