Queen of Aces (Rebel Kings MC 1)

• ° Twelve ° •

                           
🎶I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side
All the little pieces falling, shatter
Shards of me, too sharp to put back together
Too small to matter
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
If I try to touch her

And I bleed, I bleed
And I breathe, I breathe no more🎶

🎶Breathe No More - Evanescense🎶

Nyla

Stop.
Make it stop.

Searing pain. Burning pain. Aching pain.

Shattering and splintering.

Until His voice breaks through.

Pleading and begging me.

I want to die. I want it to end.
I want to die.

I ached for it to end...in my death because life after this would be nothing.

Broken.

Splintered.

Shattered.

Pain tore through me as I screamed and writhing in pain fuzzy conciousness taking me in and out. And the warmth of physical touch setting my skin on fire like a hot brand.

Don't touch me. DONT TOUCH! LEAVE ME BE!

Let me be. Let me die!

I screamed into my skull, paralyzed in my own skull.

Help me.
Kill me.
End it.

I begged and pleaded over and over and over again. Pulling at the restraints that held me.

The only thing that got me through the time locked inside was his voice. Calm and resonant. I wasnt even sure what he said but every time his chest rumbled I felt the vibrated through my body.
Without even opening my eyes I knew it was him.

The thought of him looking at me made my stomach roil. Bleeding, breaking, seething at the disgusting scarred fractured thing i was. Rage bubbled at the surface under the paralysis my brain kept me in.
My limbs felt heavy and tingly, between the times of pain and fluttering touches. The more i protested and pleaded no more the fewer they happened.

Leave me be.
Let die.
Let me leave this broken place.

Hollow.
Empty.
Shell.

I was a broken, disgusting thing. How they even could bare my sight.
To look upon the disgusting thing I was.

Shame coiled my senses as tears seeped out of my eyes to the point they jabbed me with needles to feed the tears.
Gut wrenching horrible shame.
It was my fault.
Its not like i didnt deserve it.

I bought shame to the MC, they should kill me. I was a disgrace.

I didnt feel strong anymore, i felt weak, fragile as glass, waiting to fall and shatter even more.

Slowly as the time went by my body began to slowly give me lucid moments, but they kept me restrained.
Wailing and thrashing I wanted them to end my pain. Why wouldn't they let me die.

I deserved this. Shame.

Then he spoke to me again he told me something that burnt into my mind.
Something you couldn't take back.

A vow.
A promise.
A curse.

I had curse him to relive this nightmare. He only had to look at me to relive his pain but he was the only one who didnt look at me as if i was broken.
He looked at me....into me. At me. Seeing the things I tried so savagly to hide. His cerulean eyes boring into my soul as the time went by.

But thats what happens when 2 souls lose get fractured. Missing piece here, stolen bit there, you bare yourself to the other knowing that the pain echos within them.

Guilt and shame shattered me.

Horrible guilt filled days followed crippling horiffic nightmare filled nights. Over and over and over again.
The cycle continued for god knows how long.
Days began to blend together before weeks began passing. Life began to pass me by. Move on without me and a was crippled by the memories of the life that was stolen from me.

He never left my side. He never wavered. Whereever i looked he was. Wherever i dreamed he was there with me. In the middle of the pain I ever so badly wanted to end.

Up and up again the drugs took me to a place where my brain was so hazed all I did was sleep on stare into space.

What was I meant to do now? ....die. it would be easier that way.

How do you live? ....why bother.
Is this even living? ...no. this was dying a slow and painful death. Like a cancer of the mind.

Why?
How?
What do I do?

Shame.
Disgust.
Guilt.
Shame.
Disgust.
Guilt.

Shame.

Disgust.

Guilt.

~~~~~

SURPRISE! DOUBLE DROP!

Its 2021!!! Woot woot!

Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Feel free to listen to the song as you listen it makes my heart ache.

What do you think so far?
This chapter is meant to be hard to understand as Nyla struggles to grasp onto strands of herself as she finds her way through the darkness.

Next Chapter will be Aces as life at the MC grieves over Spikes revenge and tries to find a new normal, you'll get a clearer idea of Nylas recovery and her injuries as well as Aces.

What was the Vow? Promise that Aces made to Nyla in the haze? Can you guess?