May 24 2020 : Win's Dairy Entry #3
To : Bright
From : Win
if you read through these one day bright, if i'm not here, i'm sorry. it's not your fault. you can't help it if the world is a filthy place. you can't help it if it's a filthy goddamn horror show. there's just so much pain you know? there's so much.
still though, you broke me bright. you broke my heart and i wished i could hate you but i still love you. and i hate myself even more for it. i just want the pain to be gone bright, it's been 2 weeks. i'm not going to let people in, to see the good in me anymore. because when they see good, they expect good and i'm so tired of living up to people's expectations anymore. i'm bad i know, it's just my nature to who i am. and to be a better guy for you? to be better than pam? i can't be who i am. i'm sorry i can't be what you wanted me to be. will you still care about me? or will you be like all the other fucking twats who wasn't satisfied? i'm scared to have feelings but we all still have them don't we. but mine? no one understands mine. if i start crying, i don't see myself ever stopping. i'm not angry at all, i'm just in pain. and you put me here bright. the person who was supposed to love me more than anything. just make it stop. please just make it stop.
this is my last dairy entry to you, i'm going to take a break from everything. hopefully i'm in a better place when i come back. thank you for all the fun memories we had, last long with pam bright. i love you, still do, always will. goodbye for now.
YOU ARE READING
To The Love Of My Life
Fanfiction- where win writes a letter to bright one last time. he wrote everything he couldn't bring himself to say when he decided to let bright go.
