Evangeline

I impatiently tapped my foot while I waited for someone to answer the door. My impatience grew by the millisecond. I glanced back at the taxicab, which possessed every thing my siblings and I owned. I hoped that the meter wasn’t running, but knowing New York cabbies, it probably was. Millions of other worries besides the running meter swarmed my brain like a crowd of busy honeybees. Will Maria and David be okay here?  Can I maintain my sanity? Just calm down, Leila. Just stay clam. Don’t be so anxious.

My gaze refocused on my two younger siblings. The two of them stood close by me on the little perch of concrete that was supposed to serve as a porch. I studied each of their faces more closely. David had a thin unemotional veil over his face, acting like a teenage boy for once. Only I could see the slight look of anticipation along with irritation. He was probably annoyed because Maria, whose hand he was holding, wouldn’t quit moving. I was surprised that she didn’t rip off his arm like how she used to dismantle her Mr. Potato heads. Her excitement annoyed me. How could she be so excited when this was the day I had dreaded for the past eight years?

Looking up at the swanky townhouse, I would think a butler would have been there by then to welcome us. Yet there we were, still standing outside, waiting for disappointment. Hate filled my blood and lungs for this place already. We hadn’t even been standing there a minute and I hated it. My body had to force my mind to stand there for five more seconds before I had thoughts of giving up on this stupid idea entirely. I was almost eighteen and I knew that I could take care of David, Maria, and myself without a problem. The fact was we had no reason to be there.

“Well, kiddos, it looks like no one is here,” I said. “Let’s go back home.”

Maria looked up at me, her bottom lip trembling violently. “Bu- but, this is home now.”

“That’s why we’re being forced to live with her,” I muttered sarcastically under my breath.

She gave me a clueless look like most nine-year-olds who know nothing do. “What did you say?”

Fighting my urge to tell her the truth, I didn’t reply. Either I would tell my little sister the whole truth or nothing at all. The latter seemed like a better option since Maria was an emotional break down in the making. If she knew as much as Joseph and I did, she would have hated her as much as we did. But she didn’t and within seconds she started asking away about ‘mother’.

“What is Mom like? Do you think she remembers us? Do you think she’ll like me?”

“Will you stop asking so many freaking questions?” I snapped. “I answered these questions five trillion times on the way up here and every other time you’ve asked.”

            Joseph gave me a sympathetic look.  “Leila, she just wants to know more about Mom.”

“Well, she’s about to meet the wretched woman if someone opens the damned door so why ask?”

“Don’t worry, Maria. She doesn’t mean it.” Joseph quickly reassured her. That didn’t stop her from giving me dirty looks.

“Why do you hate Mom so much?” She asked, glaring at me with the all the fires of hate and hell in her warm brown eyes.

 “Look, just remember whatever you do don’t bring up Derek. Capisce?”

They both nodded their heads. A small sense of relief swept over me now that they understood that there would be no talk of our ‘father’. It wasn’t just for our ‘mother’s’ sake; it was also for me. I could barley look at Joseph without thinking about him. Thoughts about Derek made my cheek sting painfully as a reminder.  You’re not there anymore, I reminded myself. Those words should have been soothing to me, but somehow it made me feel even worse.