❝Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.❞
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Alissa Cameron was just an ordinary high scho...
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"It was a pleasure to burn." Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury
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ROMAN DIDN'T REACT to me saying his name. His amber eyes, still something I was unused to and finding it difficult to know, stared at the killer beside me. The killer returned his stare. I took my limited time observing them both, trying desperately to see what each of their motives was, failing, finding myself unable to move as if their staring contest destroyed the time frame and their steadfast gazes kept me rooted to the grass.
Looking at Dakota was different from looking at what was once his lover. They were as comparable to each other as snow was to rain, really; both had a magic of their own, but one could cause the other's destruction. I knew which was which.
Roman's first words staggered me. I originally hadn't known where they came from and before I saw him, I went crazy wondering who could possibly have known that much about Dakota. The memories I stole from Dakota didn't include anything about Roman's own hopes and dreams, Dakota's past thoughts not mentioning from where he drew inspiration for his ambitions. I just assumed he found out about the Volturi from Roman telling him everything there was to know about the supernatural world over their course of being lovers. That was only half-true. Roman, red-eyed, charismatic, and a deceiver all of his own, wanted the same before he turned Dakota. After, he filled Dakota's head with the same delusions.
Dakota's memories circulated in me.
I imagined the power. I imagined the control. I imagined the beauty.
I did not imagine him there with me.
Horror struck through me when in rapid fashion I realized—Roman was the one he imagined with power, control, and beauty. Dakota thought he would be left behind.
I was free.
He was free of the "control" of Roman only to fall into another's grasp.
Was Dakota really the villain I painted, or was Roman? Or were they both entirely misguided and had each other as the villain in their respective stories?
I stepped away from Dakota, getting further from Roman in the process. Both of them were technically monsters, but only one had truly broken free from the death and destruction a supernatural lifestyle offered. Roman was powerful and selfish in Dakota's memories and maybe he remembered him as that now. Dakota's face looked fucking lethal. Roman's was apologetic, of all things to be. Didn't that mean something?
Dakota was right. I waswriting a false narrative for him this entire time, not asking myself if his intensions were at the fault of who came into his life to manipulate him or if they were coming from his own head and heart. I didn't think about it at all until I learned from his memories that he had the capacity to feel human emotions. I spent a long time thinking he was like any other immortal creature. Heartless, self-seeking, and inscrutable. I involuntarily let my fear manifest so that it made him an indestructible figment in my head.
