Catalyst: Rory and Tristan

Chapter 4

I am dreading going to school. Absolutely dreading it. 

I sit on a bench outside the classroom, writing in a book. I look up and I see Paris coming towards me. Maybe this is my chance to set things straight with her. Check that off my list of people I have to apologize to. 

She holds out a stack of papers. "Take these. They're the notes on the peasant taxation." I notice that her voice is extra stiff. 

I take a deep breath. "Listen, Paris-"

She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "Are you going to take these, or am I going to stand here forever like a sad version of the Statue of Liberty?" 

I quickly take the papers and open my mouth to continue, but she marches into the classroom. I sigh. I look up in time to see Tristan walking by me into the classroom. He doesn't look in my direction. 

I bite my lip and get up and go into the classroom. 

-----

"So? How'd school go today?" Mom asks me as I get off the bus. 

"Horribly," I say. 

"Horribly with a make-out? Or without one?" She asks. 

"Is this you trying to be sympathetic?" I ask her. 

"What do you mean trying? I am sympathetic. I ooze sympathy. My middle name is sympathy."

"I thought it was addict."

"Kid, for the last time, just because Luke names me something does not mean it's true." 

"Well, back to the matter at hand. I chickened out. Well, I kind of tried to talk to Paris, but I feared for my life, so..."

Mom nods. "And Tristan?" 

I shake my head. "I don't know why, I just couldn't bring myself to talk to him." 

Mom links her arm through mine. "Let's get coffee." 

-----

"Mom, I'm going to go over to Lane's," I say, finishing off my fries. 

"Okay, have fun sneaking off to that party," she says, digging into her pie. 

Luke, at another table, whips around. "A party? You're letting Rory go to a party?" 

Mom and I nod. "Oh yeah, but don't worry. No drugs or alcohol. Just Rory, some friends, and some college boys," she says. 

"Coll- you- you're joking. It's a joke." Luke looks at our empty plates of fries and apple pie. "You know, sometimes I wonder," he mutters under his breath as he walks away. 

Mom and I exchange glances and laugh. "Bye!" 

I grab my coat and walk over to Lane's. I need to get her opinion on this whole mess with Tristan. I open her front door and walk towards the kitchen. And then I stop short. 

Sitting there, at the table, study materials open, are Dean and Lane. They both freeze when they see me. 

"I- I should have called. I'm sorry," I stutter, shocked and unsure what to say. I start to back out of the room, hoping neither of them will follow me. 

Of course, Lane does. "I'm sorry," she says, at my heels. "I didn't think you'd want to know."

"I got it," I say, continuing to walk away. Why is this happening to me? Everything is getting screwed up. I shouldn't have gone to Lane's. Regardless of whether or not I would have wanted to know they're studying together, I definitely don't want to see them. Either way, I don't want to talk to Lane about it. 

"Rory, stop. That's the opposite of stop," she says, still following me. Can she not take a hint?

I whip around. "Lane, forget it. You didn't tell me. Now I know. Life goes on." I know I'm being dismissive of her, and I know she's probably right, but I can't bring myself to really acknowledge it. Seeing Dean is the last thing I need right now. She could have stopped it, even though there was know way for her to know. 

"Don't be mad," she begs. 

"I'm fine," I respond immediately. Am I? I'm frustrated. Frustrated and fed up. And confused. "I have to go," I say, turning on my heel, leaving her looking after me. 

Seeing Dean was bad. Now I am even more confused. All the thoughts I pushed down last night come rushing back. I don't want to get back together with Dean, I'm sure of that. But I am reminded of all the feelings I had when we were dating. However, I realize that I was right when I didn't tell him I loved him. Because I didn't. And I don't. 

I let out a breath. At least there is one thing I am sure of. 

-----

I shake my head as I walk out of the classroom. Why didn't Mom tell me she's talking to Max again? I wouldn't mind, but I'd like to know when she is or isn't dating my teacher. She's supposed to tell me this stuff/

I trudge wearily out of the school building. Tristan wasn't in school today. Another day of him hating me. Great. 

When I get off the bus, Lane is waiting for me. She explains that she didn't want to make me sadder. 

"How is knowing that he's your study partner going to make me sadder?" I ask. 

"Have you seen your face when you mention Dean?"

"My face is fine," I retort, getting annoyed again. 

"Your face is far from fine!" she says. 

"I'll get over it. In fact, I think I already am. Dean, Dean, Dean. How's my face now? Maybe you shouldn't be trying to hard to protect me," I exclaim.

Suddenly we're yelling at each other and she's telling me all the times she's going to be meeting Dean. 

"I don't care. I'll see you when I see you."

With that, I walk away, feeling even worse than I did before.

To make matters worse, I confront Mom about Max. She tries to explain that she didn't want me to feel bad, but I'm sick of it. So, so sick of it. I say some nasty things to her and stomp off. 

And as if I'm not thinking for myself, as if my legs have minds of their own, I find myself boarding a bus to Grandma and Grandpa's.