It's the principal

Chapter 12:

I open my bedroom door and lock it behind me. I lie on the bed and cry. I hold my hand on my mouth, so my sobs are not too loud.

I take my phone out of my pocket. I go through all Jay's messages. He starts off by innocently telling me he has my backpack. But as I go on I can hear the panic in his voice.

Was I really being selfish? Yes.

I call Jay. It goes to voicemail. I leave a message. "Hey, Jay. It's me Lana. But you already know that, because you can see the caller ID. Unless you deleted my number and you have every right to. I am being an incredibly selfish person and I'm sorry. I just need some time to think some things through. I hope you understand. Bye."

I put the phone down on my chest and sigh heavily. The vibration of my phone nearly gives my a heart attack.

I quickly check the saved number. Gabe. Honestly, doesn't the fact that I've been avoiding and ignoring him mean anything? Is he really that dense? And why haven't I blocked him yet?

I read the message. And quickly reply.

Gabe🙄: Hey, Lana.
Lana♥️: What!?
Gabe🙄: Are you OK?
Lana♥️: I'm fine.
Gabe🙄: You sure don't seem like it. Look, Lana. I know I'm not on your top most loved people right now, nor have I ever been. But I've matured from the boy you used to know. And I honestly do love you. And I'm sorry I hurt you before. Just please. Suffering in silence is not the answer.

I honestly have no idea how to reply to that. Maybe he's telling the tru-

No. No. Nah. Not again, girlfriend. We talked about this. No more Gabe. Gabe is a big no-no.

For once the voice in my head is right. But what do I say? Luckily, I don't have to say a word. Because I receive another message from another person.

Jay❤️: You are forgiven. But this is the last time you make me worry like that. Clear?
Lana😼: Crystal.

However, that conversation is over quickly and I have to answer Gabe.

Lana♥️: I'm tired. I'm going to bed.

I mean, I'm not lying. I am going to bed. Technically. He almost immediately text back.

Gabe🙄: OK. At least blow me off with a proper excuse.

I flinch. That was kind of lame. But it's not like he deserves better. I switch off my phone and roll over in bed.

Y'know what? I'm going to text James and tell him how I feel whether he likes it or not.

Lana🐼: Hey, James. I want to tell you something. But I don't know where to start. I know I've been acting weird and pushing you away lately. And by lately I mean the past couple of weeks. And you deserve an explanation. So, here goes. I like you. A lot. More then I've ever liked anyone and more then I want to. I'm mesmerized by it. But I'm also frightened. Frightened of ruining our friendship. It's too late for that anyway. That's why I'm telling you.

My thumb hovers over the send button.

Oh my gaws! Just grow a pair and send it already.

I sigh frustratedly. I can't do this. Not now. I leave the message there and text Gabe.

Lana♥️: I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind.

As expected, he replies immediately.

Gabe🙄: It's OK. Can I tell you something? Something I didn't tell you before.
Lana♥️: Sure.
Gabe🙄: You're beautiful.

I stare at the message. Completely and utterly shocked.

You will not fall for it. Say thank you and leave it at that.

Lana♥️: You really think so?

Damn you! You idiot!

Quiet, you.

Gabe🙄: I don't just think so. I know so.

I blush wildly. Was I really going to let this happen again? I think it's been proven once that Gabe is a slimy slug (and a handsome one, too) who simply cannot be trusted. Not in a million billion years.

Lana♥️: Thanks. Your not half bad looking yourself.

Oh no! Your flirting with him.

What's the harm in flirting? It's not like I proposed.

Gabe🙄: My, my. Your still as charming as I remember.
Lana♥️: Thanks. I try my best.
Gabe🙄: You don't even need to try. It just comes naturally.

End this conversation right freaking now! You are not doing this again.

All harmless fun. Chill.

Lana♥️: When did you come back?
Gabe🙄: The day before I called you.
Lana♥️: Where you kicked out of the exchange program?
Gabe🙄: Why would they kick me out of that program? ME?
Lana♥️: I do remember having to help you out of some trouble you got into only days before the flight.
Gabe🙄: Trouble we got into. You made your narrow escape and left me to face the consequences.
Lana♥️: The thing is you got caught, I didn't. Which makes me innocent.
Gabe🙄: Fantastic logic, I must say. However, it makes no sense.
Lana♥️: *indifferent shrug* You can get away with a lot. Just don't get caught.
Gabe🙄: That makes a lot more sense.
Lana♥️: It's getting late. I really should go to sleep now.
Gabe🙄: Goodnight, Lana.
Lana♥️: Goodnight, Gabe.

I switch my phone off and give a content sigh.

So your not going to fall for him, again?

Nope. Just harmless flirting.

Then why are you already knee deep into him again?

I roll my eyes and happily drift off to sleep.