About a week later, it was Ember's 16th birthday, and no matter what I said or how many times I tried to talk to her, she didn't want to do anything for it.
"What's the point?" She'd grumbled when we were at school the day before her birthday, "It's just another year older."
"Yeah, but you'll be 16 — that's a pretty big milestone if you ask me," I told her pointedly, remembering how my pack had thrown a huge party for my 16th the year before.
"Well, no one did ask you." She had shrugged, sighing, "And besides, 18 is more of a milestone than 16... 16 is just, I don't know, the year where you're finally away from all those 'in-between' years."
"Fine, whatever." I gave up quickly, rubbing my eyes with the palms of my hands.
"You still struggling to sleep?" Ember asked, deeply concerned.
"Yeah, but it's fine." The lie had slipped out easily, although the prospect of having to kill someone was seriously impacting my inability to sleep. I hadn't told Ember about it — partly because I didn't want her to know; partly because I didn't want her to think I was a killer.
Which I'm not — I'm not a murderer; I'm not a monster.
Am I?
Victoria was planning on me doing it on the next full moon — so that I couldn't have any regrets whilst doing it or even have control over myself. The next full moon was just two nights away.
At least Kaden was talking to me again. Hearing that I'd killed before, and not just on a full moon, had left him speechless and no doubt feeling threatened by me... But the fact that I was saving him from having to kill meant that he kinda forgave me. Kinda.
Although I kept catching him looking at me like I was a common murderer, which I wasn't.
I'm not a killer.
Though Victoria wanted to make me into one.
I'd told Ember that Victoria had let Kaden and I into her pack — avoiding the fact that I had to hunt with her, although it more seemed I'd be hunting for her rather than with her. But I figured I'd have to tell her eventually — especially if I had to kill someone I knew — yet I knew that Ember would most likely hate my guts for it and think that I was a monster.
Maybe that's what Victoria wants, for Ember to see me as a monster.
"Hey, Ember?" I began, preparing myself to talk to her.
"Yeah, one sec," she said before she went over to talk to Eric, who had beckoned her over.
"Shit, Jason, where are you when I need you?" I muttered under my breath, thinking of my previous Alpha.
My heart and my mind took me back to Coloma — to the place that had been a home for me and my pack. Though it was only home to mere apparitions now; the ghosts of days gone by.
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