"Aaaaah! fucking hell!"
I was crying so loud. I'm screaming in pain, fucking pain. I tried to hit my head in the headboard when my brother stopped me.
"I can't stand this pain Kuya, it's fucking hurting me so bad"I said between in cries.
He tried to make me calm but the damn head never let me.
"Please kuya remove this shit, it's hurts like hell," I begged
"Kuya how long will I experienced this? I'm tired of this medication, I'm fucking done with this,"
"I miss my baby, I miss Helga Laurencia. I miss her so bad I wanted to carry her and sang a lullaby for her,"
Slowly my tears has stopped but all I could feel is pain fucking fucking pain. I've already fuck my life, I already hurt my baby. She was so good to be my daughter, she was so nice to me.
Everytime I saw my daughter all I could feel is love and happiness but at the same time pain. I was so fucking in pain when she was rejected by her father twice. I felt like my life has ended. I felt like I had no purpose in life. I felt like I was being stab in my heart for almost 7 years. I felt like I was born to carry the problem of rhe earth, I felt like I was being tortured for the rest of my life. I want to give up everything but I have my beautiful baby.
Helga was my day and night, she was my strength, she was my shoulder, she was my wall, she was my home, she was my energizer, she was my medicine , she was my beautiful, understanding and brave daughter. She was the ray of light in my everyday darkness.
I can't stand to see her being rejected by her own father, she was rejected again but she only smiled and kiss her father's cheeks. She never hated her Dad, she told me that I should understand him na lang. She told me that if I cried again she will hate her father for the rest of her life.
I've already received my greatest gift from God and that was her, my pretry Helga Laurencia.
I will never get tired of this because I have my Helga in my life. My mom and dad are already dead but I have my kuya pa who really help us in everything. Without my kuya I probably died na.
"Just be strong Lauren, you have your precious Helga Laurencia in your life so don't give up please I already want the best for the two of you, I want to see you and Helga fighting for this," kuya said in his soft tone
I bit my lower lip and looked away. I want to fight, I want to fight for us, If my daughter is sick and still fighting for her life then I would do the same thing, I don't want to disappoint her. I'll fight with this pain and same with Helga who's in ER right now, fuck the tears started to pooled in my eyes.
"Is everything alright with Helga? is she ok now? is she being transfered to normal room? is she still ok? I want to fight with her," that's it I broke down.
I cried so loud when I didn't hear any answers from kuya. She should fight with me, she should fight for us. I know her father will accept her, I know it.
Please baby, fight for mommy, fight for us baby. You and your titos that I have now. Please be strong baby I promise I will fix everything, I''ll start again....
Just to be with you again baby
"You need to be strong Lauren, Helga's waiting for you," he said while looking away
I sadly smiled wiping my tears that continues to flow down. For her I'll be strong, baby mommy will never ever give up I'll show you how I strong I am.
The doctor came with one nurse. I am silently listening to his advice. "Lauren I already told you that Amnesia usually resolves without treatment right? you don't need to push yourself to remember everything, You already remembered many things right?"
I nodded and stared at them blankly.
"Amnesia can be caused by many things including traumatic experiences and brain injury. Don't push yourself from remembering those broken memories it might triggers you and its possible to put your life on the line. For now you've gained many lost memories right? you only need to be patient to get that all. But one thing for sure you'll gain the last missing memories this month."
Doc was right I already remembered many memories but there's always missing pieces. Last febraury I pushed myself to remember it all but I ended up here again in the hospital. May mga sinabi pa si Doc kay kuya at ako'y tahimik lamang na nakatingin sa bintana.
After a few minutes Doc and the nurse went off the room. I immediately get up to visit my baby.
"Kuya let's go, I'll go to Helga. I want to fight with her please," I begged
He sigh and slowly nodded.
He carefully led me to the hospital room ni Helga. Para akong pinutulan ng hininga nang marinig kong sumigaw si Gelandrei.
"Laurencia dito!"
I immediately walk towards him with a broken eyes and tears flowing down. I bit my lower lip to calm myself.
When I saw him clearly he was crying, waiting for my baby in front of ER. I burst into tears when I realized that she haven't won the fight.
"How is she?" I asked in low tone
"I don't know Laurencia, hindi pa nalabas 'yung doctor at mga kasama niyang nurses,"
I was crying so hard as I saw my baby surrounded by the nurses.
"Baby please fight for monmy, You'll meet your father again. Please baby be strong,"
