Looking outside at the rain, everything felt normal. My body slowly relaxed as I closed my eyes just to listen to the sound it made against the window.
Everything seemed so quiet, almost innocent and trite.
But it wasn't.
On my desk there was an empty sheet of paper, just waiting for my courage to come out so I could grab the pen. I only had to write. The words didn't had to come out of my mouth.
Somehow, writing it was worst. It would make it real.
On the left corner of my bedroom there were already two full packed bags, one smaller than the other, also waiting, but not for a decision.
I was leaving.
My sister tried to convince me to wait, but waiting would be like killing me slowly inside. And, let's be honest, there wasn't time to wait. The nine month clock was already counting down.
I could hear my phone behind me every five to two minutes. I knew it was him. It was always him.
"Hey, where are you?"
"Call me back ASAP please! Everyone is worried about you"
"I'm worried"
"Please reply, I really need to know if you're okay petal"
"Fuck lily"
I curse that night in my head every single day. It was supposed to be a fun night out. Now I can't even look him in the face. I can't hear his voice.
The last time my phone rang, I picked up before thinking about it.
"Lily, please tell me you're okay"
I stopped breathing for two seconds. I could feel every inch of despair and concern in his voice. That soft and warm voice that always made me smile. So, for the first time in a while, I allowed myself to forget and smile before breaking down into tears. It was the first time I listened to him since...since.
"Niall I'm... I'm sorry"
Before he could say anything I turned it down.
And with all the feelings flowing through my body, the blank paper was coloured with emotions and the truth.
YOU ARE READING
P.S - I love you
Fanfiction(re-writing my 2014 fanfiction on nyah) Lily Cohen knew him since they were kids. He was the person she used to play with, the person that later on she searched in the crowd when things weren't easy. He was always there for her. Slowly, she found he...
