CHAPTER 6
Unfortunately nothing changed, being fetched from Phindi's place back to my Aunt's place. My life was still the same. Full of pain, endless tears and a lot of verbal abuse. She didn't start mistreating me today, it has been going on ever since I moved in with them after the passing of my Mother. One would say I should be used to it by now, but I wasn't. Each time when those words were expelled from her mouth, they pierced through my heart until I bled out profusely. That type of pain reflects from the heart to the soul, it's changes you. It alters with your emotional and mental state.
I am soaked into my pain so much that peace and happiness seems to be far reached, I am battling to accept my reality, accepting that some people might be destined for misery until they die. Probably I'm one of them
Today my Big Brother came around for a quick visit, he lives in town with his annoying wife. Ever since he started working, he changed his ways towards us. We hardly talk and I even stopped asking him for money because he had excuses. It was an excuse, after another excuse that I ended up letting him be. They get along very well with my Aunt, even though she gossips about him every now and then but they get along.
Rose: Unjani uLinda? (How is Linda holding up)
Lunga: She's okay
Rose: When is she going to come and visit?
Linda coming here? I wanna live to see that day. I heard they met at school and Linda dropped out in her second year of studying due to financial reasons. She failed 2 modules, her bursary dropped her and her Parents didn't have money to carry her through that year. She couldn't even get a Loan nor NSFAS, that's how bad her reality was at that time. After that whole incident she never went back home, she stayed with my Brother in his flat. He also had a bursary that was funding him.
After graduating he went straight to the mine to work, Linda knowing that tomorrow he might wake up and leave her because she had nothing. I think she consulted with a traditional healer or something, because after that my Brother loved her more than he ever loved us. When Linda says no he can't send me money he doesn't, if she says no I can't visit he doesn't say anything to partition her word. They got married after 2 years of him working, she even chose where they should stay and he bought that house with the help of a bank. He is into a lot of bills, even their wedding was way too expensive for my liking, just unnecessary bills.
Lunga: Kodwa how are you guys holding up?
Rose: Sikahle nje except for your Sister
Lunga: What has she done now?
Rose: We had an altercation then she went and moved in with uPhindi, imagine the humiliation!
Lunga looked at me.
Lunga: Is this true?
I looked at my Aunt.
Lunga: What was the altercation about?
Rose: She left the pots and went gallavanting
Defending myself would be useless, he's going to believe her anyway!
Lunga: Gallavanting?
Rose: She should be fixing her life but uSiba spends most of her time in the streets or sleeping then when I talk I'm a bad Person
Lunga: Siba you 23 now, uAunty cannot be supporting you forever! At your age I was already working
Rose: At least you here to talk to her, she's your sister after all
Lunga: Yazi at work young girls like you are already driving, getting their own money and making it work. They independent and wena you busy gallavanting trying to come back with an unwanted pregnancy
Rose: Or worse getting infected
Lunga: Do you know that if Aunty can die tomorrow you'll be on your own?
Rose: She doesn't know that, and when I do tell her she thinks that I'm abusing her
Lunga: Don't even consider me I worked hard to be where I am today, nothing was handed to me I had to get up and get my own
They were suffocating me, I needed a breather!
I got up from the couch.
Rose: Where are you going? We not done talking
Me: I just need a breather that's all
Rose: See what I'm talking about?
Lunga: Siba sit down
I attempted to walk away.
Lunga: I said sit down!
I sat down. I am not stupid nor People's punching bag! I know my life is not impressive right now, they actually telling me things that I know. Things that I'm aware of.
I am not sitting on my ass I try a lot to get up and get my own. I have sent endless applications without any luck, I have applied for every post that crossed my path and I never got a response. What am I supposed to do now? Go sell my body because that's the only thing that I haven't considered!
Rose: When you tell her the truth she starts crying
Lunga: Yey angeke sizwe ngawe (We won't be controlled by you)
Me: Kodwa ngiyazama nje (But I'm trying)
Lunga: Is gallavanting the streets trying? Just know that if you come back pregnant I will support Aunty kicking you out for good!
I wiped my tears.
Just to think that Lunga and I used to be very tight, and then one day he suddenly changed without any explanation.
I couldn't sit here and take all of this, it's just going to drive me crazy. I got up again and walked to my bedroom, I locked the door.
Lunga: Siba!!
I sat on the bed and hugged my legs, I am trying. God knows that I am trying
Lunga knocked on my door, I closed my eyes as my tears fell.
Lunga: From hereon don't ever ask me for anything! You and I we done! You don't wanna act right then fuck you! I don't need you, plus you nothing but a burden! I don't wanna get a call from you nor a text message
Just sit by and watch life pass you by it's okay, but one day you will regret do you hear me?
He banged on the door scaring me.
Lunga: I said do you hear me?
