When I was 16, I was emancipated. I have a job, two actually, I pay all the bills, plus when mom started losing control she put all dads money in my name so she wouldn't spend it all on drugs and liquor. That was probably her last good decision. Before she gave me all the money, she had a surgery done to have her tubes tied. So, I was pretty set for life.
Before that, I worked for our neighbor at the time, I babysat her daughter Haven after school and on the weekends. Sometimes Mary, Haven's mom, would save leftovers after their dinner and give it to us when we barely had anything. It wasn't a bad job if I'm honest. Haven was a great baby, she was only one when I babysat her, and all we would do is cuddle on the couch and watch Moana daily.
I only had two main goals; to keep my mom alive and hopefully better, and to keep myself in check. I don't focus on myself as much as I could, but what can I say? Watching my mom is like watching a toddler set of triplets. One's trying to eat Tide Pods, another is playing with fire, and the last one just sits and wails on the couch. It's a full time job in itself.
Sometimes I forget to eat, but that's okay. Before I was able to get a job and get food on the table, I worked under the counter for this guy named Jason. He ran an expensive business dealing with cars and that stuff. Some of his business also involved drugs, but he kept me away from that side of it.
Jason was a friend of my dad's back in the day, so he took pity on me and my mom and let me work. I still work for him, but this time it's legal. All I do is take notes, file papers, and make coffee. Pretty much like an assistant, but I get paid less because I'm not. I guess you could call me an intern? Jason doesnt want to promote me into any higher positions till im out of school so I could be there more often.
My other job is an underground boxing ring. I'm the 'nurse'. I mostly fix up minor cuts, ice bruises, do a couple stitches here or there. The owner, Tony, I met on a bridge. He was going to jump and I talked him off the edge. Soon, we became very close friends, I could basically consider him my older brother.
After I got those jobs and slowly got some money, I managed to find me and mom a one bedroom apartment downtown. It was more than enough for me and mom. She had the bedroom, and I had the livingroom. The kitchen had food in the pantries and pans in the cupboards. We even had a dishwasher. I tried to keep it as nice looking as I could, but whenever she came home she would just trash the place again.
"Jocelyn what's for food?" Mom stumbles put of her room and leans against the wall facing me.
"I could make us some alfredo if you want," I was in the middle of doing my homework on my laptop Tony got me last year shortly after meeting, he felt it was a good gift to someone who literally saved their life.
"I wan alfredo." She nods and stumbles to the kitchen. It was only 5 pm and she was already shitfaced.
While I boil the noodles I try and make her drink some water. I want her to be slightly sober by the time i leave, but I know that as soon as the front door is shut, she's pouring herself another shot of Fireball or something.
"Baby..." she motions to me to go closer to where she's sitting at the table. I turn the heat on the stove down so the bubbles don't over flow and walk over to her.
My mom was, still kind of is, a beautiful woman. She's about 5'7, nearly a foot taller than me, lean, has long auburn hair and these bright green eyes. I've always wanted to be like her, but instead I'm 4'10, chubby, plain brown hair and hazel eyes that just look brown.
"Mija, you know I love you, yea?" She grabs my hand and makes me sit on her lap like a child. She does this often when she thinks I'm going to leave her.
"Yes mom, I know you love me. I love you too." I smile and rub her cheek before standing again and check the noodles.
"Why do you leave every night then?" She looks up from where she's sitting with sad eyes. Honestly, it should be me asking her that question.
"Because I go to work so we could have alfredo whenever you want." I dont look at her because then I know she'd notice the dark circles under my eyes. Even when she's drunk, she notices all the minor details of someone.
"Where do you work again?"
"The restaurant down the street mom, I've told you this 4 times."
"Oh, right." After that, the conversation is over and I'm glad. I don't tell her where I work because she'll get angry with me, probably start thinking I'm putting on 'shows' for the guys underground or at the office.
After she eats, I take her back to her room where she falls back asleep probably till around 11, then she'll wake up, get dressed and dolled up, then go back to the bar down the road. She goes every night, without fail.
I've thought about running away. Countless times. It would be so easy. I know she wouldnt look for me, she probably wouldnt even notice I'm gone.
That's what hurts the most; knowing she wont even think twice about my disappearance.
I ran away once, when I was 14. I stayed with an old family friend. After two weeks, I came back home. All my mom did was ask me to make her some food.
About twenty minutes later I head to Tony's. Tony is a tall guy, about 6'1, kind buff, but not a total meat head, and a total goofball. He's my one and only true friend I have. We usually hangout for a little, sometimes we smoke a bowl or two, and then head to the Underground. That's what I called it since it didnt have an official name.
"Who's fighting tonight?" I ask while he drives his old Chevy truck to the building.
"Some rookie and Big Stan. You should probably have a pack ready for the rookie when he's done fighting." Big Stan is a monster. 6'4, about 300lbs., could've been a NFL quarterback if he didnt get caught with a kilo of coke in his truck about 6 years ago.
"Alright, is that the only fight?"
"Whoever wins between to two will fight Charlie." Charlie is like a wild card, you never know what's going on behind those steel grey eyes of his. He almost never talks either.
I'm pretty familiar with all the guys who fight regularly. It gets awkward when I see them outside of the Underground because I'm not used to the normal, nonviolent side of them. Out of all the guys, I think Charlie is my favorite. He's actually a nice guy and is very soft spoken. I had a conversation with him at a cafe once and all the patrons in the cafe thought I was going to get killed for teasing him. All the guys treat me like a little sister or a princess cause I'm the only girl there that isnt a bartender or dancer. It's really cool knowing that if anything happens to me that I have over 30 meatheads willing to fight for me.
Once we reach the building, I jump out of Tony's truck and head to the entrance without waiting for Tony. I needed to start prepping for the upcoming fights. I dont know this new guy so I have to be ready to patch him up if he gets his ass annihilated.
