The Dawn Magus

II. THE LECTURE

         Sunset approached slowly and the humidity of the day faded with the light. Bel could feel her daughter become cooler and more rigid, yet she remained in a silent embrace. The maid knocked on the door once the sun was fully set. Twice a day she came to pass Bel the crushed apples and goat milk Yural could tolerate. Tonight there was no response from inside. 

           Akira, the maid, was well aware of the customs of death. She was also acutely aware of Bel's exclusion from such customs. Akira was beholden to alert the males in the household of death as soon as she herself was aware. In the years since Bel had moved to Hukr's home, she had maintained a kind acquaintance with the maid. During the drought three years ago, Bel had looked the other way when she found Akira taking some vegetables from the kitchen stock. It was probably this that the maid took to heart when she gave Bel more time than appropriate to grieve over her daughter.

          The bringing of life is like the bringing of dawn- her mother-in-law's voice emerged with a memory as she nuzzled Yural's fine hair.

          They had been sitting at the hearth one chill autumn night. It was after Bel had her pregnancy confirmed. A giant feast had been held, with Hukr's family members from near and far coming to congratulate Bel and have the honor of giving food to mother and child. Near the end, after most of the cousins had left, Bel found herself alone in front of the hearth drinking tea with her mother-in-law, Elma.

           Elma had never really liked Bel. This was mostly for the trouble she knew the match would create. Elma was not alone in her sentiment. Matches between luteria and typical folk brought the sorceres around more often than not.

           Despite what she thought might be in store for her grandchild, Elma tolerated Bel more than usual on the feast day. However, she did not spare her from the lectures. These speeches had become her primary way of communicating with Bel. Though Bel's family had not observed most customs, she had acquired a cursory knowledge of them from her schoolmates. However, giving Elma the role of teacher during these casual lectures was the only way Bel found she could assert her humility.

          The bringing of life is like the bringing of dawn, Elma said huskily over her small glass of mint tea, you bring a light into the world. As a woman, you bring that. She gestured towards Bel's stomach, Men, no. Men do not bring, they are brought. They protect and provide cover for us to go about our daily tasks. They are like the dark, they end that which must be ended and set the...the..uh...

         The... tone? Bel offered, looking up from her tea.

         Elma paused once and shrugged, it was not the word she wanted but it would do, Yes, the tone. For us to sleep in peace. That is their role. In this house women must provide for the beginnings. You will do that now. Hukr expects that of you.

         Bel wanted to tell Elma about the work she had already put in to get the house prepared for the feast. How she laid out clothing for Hukr every morning before he went to join the guard. But she knew that this was going to be one of the few lectures that would not be an attack on her and she did not want to make it one. There was something Elma was working to, Bel could sense it in the way she lingered and watched the fire in the hearth.

         Elma sighed, And you know...I have raised my son well. He knows traditions. He could recite the holy book at the age of 10. He knows what is asked of him, if the time comes. I wished for a girl, so that she would never need to view death but I got a boy. Even then, I would have never thought he would rush towards the certainty as he has with you.

         Bel lowered her teacup and turned her head to the fire, wanting not to hear these words. Elma set her cup on the ground and leaned forward, touching Bel's hand in a show of surprising tenderness. Her voice softened

         I do not blame you. Your family is well acquainted with death, but I ask that you not insult my son by putting yourself into a place you do not belong. Hukr has grasped as masculine a calling as I can imagine. Should things go badly, his experience will be called upon continuously, his rites will be respected. You must let him do his duty. If this child dies, you must not touch it. That is his right and you owe him that for what he has done for you.

        Bel looked back at Elma, I cannot. She felt tears well up, but she looked up quickly and blinked them back, Mother, I cannot. I want my baby to be born healthy but if it isn't...how can I be denied that?

         Elma did not seem angry at this, she only nodded, I am only telling you what you must do, it is what our customs demand.

         Bel felt trapped. She heard the men laughing outside and desperately wanted to join them and disappear in their cigar smoke.

        They demand I abandon my child? She said defiantly, her voice wavering and low.

        Elma looked at her and then towards the window, No, she said softly, They only demand I tell you of the custom. Her hand squeezed Bel's and after a moment Bel squeezed back. When they joined the men outside, it was too dark for anyone to see their puffy, red, eyes.