Lost Soul

Chapter One

OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE

• a sensation of being outside one's own body, typically of floating and being able to observe oneself from a distance

My soul leaves my body every night

Like clockwork

No matter where I am

Or what I'm doing

It leaves

Like a puff of smoke

And I watch

My lifeless body lied on the ground

And I wait

And I wait

And wait...

I gasp, clutching my chest, feeling as if I had just drowned, it feels heavy against me, unfamiliar and unwanted. I wipe off the sweat formed on my forehead, glancing at the time, 5 am, just like it always is.

I grab the bottle of water on my bedside and down it, my throat feels dry and my body feels sore, I curl my toes and sigh in relief, I open the windows, letting in the little glimpse of sunlight in my room. I shiver at the cold breeze that hits me but the dim blue light of early mornings always comforted me, finally over. Like being stuck in a cave for so long and gladness floods over when you see that one tiny speck of light, but to me it seems, I keep ending back to where I started.

I've never told anyone about it, it only started when I turned 10 years of age, it felt...peculiar, having to watch my own body die in front of me yet feeling no remorse or fear of death, it felt..right. Although it always felt awful soon after, throat dry and body sore, a heavy heart from the burdens of my soul.

I once dared to leave my room when it happened, a child growing bored at the sight of its lifeless body but I never dared to do the same. Walking down the stairs of my home yet it felt so unfamiliar, just a house that I've never been before, I felt lost in its eerie atmosphere, it felt...lifeless.

But then I saw it. A pair of cautious eyes watching me. I knew then that it wasn't human, bloodshot eyes, troubled by its sins and the smell of grief and rotting flesh overwhelms me. I watched as it slowly made its way towards me, its limbs distorted into an awkward position.

I see you

Its voice made me shiver, it sounded grave and murky, like a desperate old man, begging for its salvation yet it never came. I was frozen in fear, helpless little soul. And it touched me, I remember little of how it felt but it left a mark, as if forcing me to remember of its existence. I remember feeling as if hell was beyond my touch, like waves washing over my purity, eating the innocence out of a child, it made me believe of the devil.

But it was soon gone, gasping out the sensation of waking back up into my own body again. I watched as my skin turned the slightest shade of brown where its fingertips had held right at the side of my stomach. Ever since then I never left the room nor did I ever turned off my lights.

I liked to think that the creature had vanished over the years, a facade that comforted me slightly in my sleep but every now and then, I am reminded of it, the sound of its voice clouding over my thoughts and its eyes, the eyes of a sinful man.

I've tried many ways keeping my soul from leaving, sleeping pills, exhaustion, milk, yet none of them ever seemed to work. I've grown to live with it, cursed with the freedom of my soul.

I grab my set of earphones beside me and drown myself in music, in a way, the senseless lyrics comforted my overthinking mind. I open my curtains, ready for what the day has to offer, I'd like to think happy memories would dim away the demons lurking in the dark or a healthy body would somehow convince my soul not to leave it someday, finally appreciating what sleep has to offer.