There were always things in the world that we couldn't have. We couldn't always get what we wanted, and I knew it was that way for a reason. Luckily, I was one who appreciated simple things, living a simple life. Though others might not feel the same, I didn't like dreaming too much. I never set a goal too high nor wished for more-than-simple things. For a long time, I thought that I was content with going with the flow of my own life. I just took whatever was thrown at me and faced everything head-on. Thinking far into my future wasn't important to me. I was satisfied with reveling in the present, enjoying today without thinking about tomorrow. I thought letting myself get dragged by the current of events was enough for me.
But then, I reached a certain point where it wasn't anymore.
Because at that point, I found something precious. I found love.
I didn't fall for him at first sight. Nor the second. Or the third. I knew I fell after seeing him hundreds of times.
He was my best friend. We met when we were young but it took a while before we got closer to each other. We had a lot of similar interests, but since we were both introverted, it wasn't easy for either of us to take the first step or initiate a conversation. We lived in the same neighborhood, but I would always turn and walk the opposite direction whenever I saw him. I always felt anxious to approach him, despite my growing desire to befriend him. It wasn't until when we belonged to the same class did I find out that he felt the same. Since that day, we spent more time together and got to know each other better. When we entered middle school, we promised to stay by each other's side and always protect and help one another.
That day, he held my hand and immediately I knew it fit perfectly into mine. Since then, I had always wanted them intertwined.
He became my comfort. I loved how he could brighten my day with a single smile, and stop my tears with his embrace. I loved how he could bring out the better, other side of me which I rarely showed to other people, and make me appreciate who I thought was a plain, boring, and timid nobody: myself. I loved how he could bring out the best in me and help me gain confidence when I lacked it.\He taught me how to love myself.
For the first time in my life, I wanted to take the reins. I started dreaming bigger, thinking about the future. I learned how to wish for greater things. I learned how to pursue more than what was already on my plate.
Then I realized, I didn't just love how he made me feel. I loved all of him.
He became the person I wanted to cherish all my life. I wanted him to always be happy. I wanted to care for him and cheer him up whenever he felt down. I wanted to be the person who made him smile. I wanted to support him in whatever he wanted to do and always be proud of him. I wanted to show him that I was thankful that I met him, and that I would be there when he needed me.
It was alright with me even if he didn't feel the same.
It was alright with me even if the whole world didn't know, as long as he did...
...that I loved him with all my heart. My Jeon Jungkook.
