Time | muke au

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It was a midnight.

Hopelessly wandering around his flat, tall boy held in his hand piece of paper, reading it fourth time that night. It has been only two days since he had found the letter but he couldn't stop reading it. Questions flooded his mind, no answers coming though. He has been reading it for a good ten minutes now and he just couldn't continue anymore. But he read it so much that he had most of the things written memorised. It was just like he could've get all answers he wanted just by reading a letter, which wasn't the right, of course.

With a yellow paper in one and of course a mug of chocolate in second hand, boy walked through the living room doorstep and sat on the couch. Sipping it from moment to moment, boy thought about letter he found. It was something personal and boy at the same time wished he didn't read it, but at the same time he was glad he found an envelope. He couldn't believe someone so young, so beautiful could've have and hide its feelings, pushing them into nothingness of his soul, trying to pretend what he feels doesn't exist. He couldn't even imagine how much pain that boy went through. How much pain he did to himself just by deciding to not tell what he feels to his love. Loving one is a one thing, but experiencing a heartbreak is another. Loving someone was one type of pain. Kind of pain that slowly killed you inside but you still enjoy it, no matter how hard it destroys you. Heartbreak is another pain. Pain you wish doesn't exist but it does. Kind of pain that happens in a flash and stays longer than you can take it, that kills you in instant, burning your soul, shattering your heart in pieces and blanking your mind. Pain that, along with losing your loved one, is the worst pain on the world. But as everything else in your life, as the times goes and you gather new memories, you move on. Most of the times.

Scanning the paper one more time, boy drank all of the chocolate and left empty mug on a table, running to the bedroom. Pushing through the narrow door jamb, boy tunred on all the lights in apartment and entered his room, which he cleaned and vacuumed day ago. It was almost unrecognisable how his room looked. Without piles of clothes all over the floor it looked twice bigger and fluffy red carpet that he bought by himself was visible on the floor. Bed was made and dirty old sheets were changed to a clean pink ones. Nightstand was almost blank, without food and countless layers of dust on it, with Michael's photograph on it that only saved it from being nude. Curtains were changed too, from dusty ones to a clean blue ones that scent intoxicating and blue-eyed actually asked his mother where she bought a fabric softener which was now his second favourite smell, after his cologne. But the biggest change visible after that cleaning experienced his desk. Before it was just a thing on which stood dozens of books, notebooks and papers on it where you needed to guess real colour of it because books and clothes hid it and now you could've seen antique wooden desk, made in late 19th century which he bought with flat.

Boy took a moment just to admire his cleaning ability. Then he blinked couple of more times than necessary and jumped on his bed. Boy turned around and took old photo in his hand, holding it now with an old letter. It was weird to say at least how those two things took over his mind in the last month. How in period of little bit more than 30 days he became addicted to one letter, reading it over and over again. It was like a drug, the more he read letter, it was harder to let it go. There was just something about that boy that attracted onyx-haired boy, he couldn't tell what nor why, it just was. Reading letter once again, boy thought how stupid that William idiot was. What moron he must've been to let someone go and to be so cruel to cheat on someone, and the worst, in front of them. How disrespectful of him to lead poor boy on, there is no reason to do someone, especially when that someone loves you, giving them fake hopes.

Blue-eyed sighted, finishing the reading of letter, sitting straightly and thinking about blonde that occupied his mind. He smiled sadly, knowing that he couldn't help him anymore, wishing there wasn't ninety years of distance between them.