sing me a love song // liu yuxin/cai zhuoyi

i am still a woman

Yuxin furrows her eyebrows as she finds a way to figure out an anatomy question written on her textbook. She wonders why it was necessary to have anatomy in her major since she was taking up something related to arts.

"Hold up," Xueer furrowed her eyebrows, "You mean Zhuoyi is marrying... him??" she scowls at the idea of Zhang Fei. "This is too mych for me to take in, seriously."

Yuxin rolls here eyes and rested her cheek on her hand, still bored that she couldn't get the answer to that damn anatomy question. "Yeah, same here."

"That dude is horrible," Xueer says in disgust.

"I didn't expect him to be like that, honestly."

Xueer tilted her head to the side as she pouts, wondering what Zhuoyi must feel right now. She looks over at Yuxin, who seem to be very immersed in some scholarly website. Yuxin was already thinking, so why not make her think more, right?

Xueer laughs to herself before shouting the latter female's name to get her attention in which she responded with a dull hum.

"Do you think Zhuoyi is actually happy?"

It came a shock to Yuxin. Obviously, she wasn't but who was she to judge other's lives anyway. Not that she should meddle but she thinks it was just none of her business anymore.

Automatically, she halts in typing her anatomy homework and her mind suddenly drifted to the thought of Zhuoyi. The bold letters of the invitation reminds her of Zhuoyi's dreams. She has got to be happy, right? Yuxin forces that idea to her brain but it wasn't that easy. She was a coward, but she wasn't stupid.

Yuxin sighs, "I don't know. Everybody has their own thing going on."

"If I was there, I could have slid just like that and take his girl away, right here, right then!" Yuxin remains silent. She could have grabbed her hand when they were at the train station but, she thinks about the consequences and she just wasn't about doing that risky thing.

"If I have a girl I like, I would give her all the happiness in the world! She deserves that good good right there!" Xueer adds, trying to lift Yuxin's mood but she just wasn't feeling good.

"But Xueer," the invitation now grazing on the roughness of her palms somehow managed to make sadness crawl up to her senses, "I'm... still a woman."

"So what?!" her room mate exclaims, her voice getting a bit loud. "Man or woman... when it comes to love, gender doesn't matter. What matters is her!!"

"You seem to be eager about all of this." Yuxin comments making the other girl pout and cross her arms.

Her eyebrows were at the center of her forehead. "Hmph!" she grabs her nearest pillow and throws it across the room, hitting Yuxin in the head. "You're dumb." she comments, standing up.

Xueer hears her tummy rumble and she goes for the door. "I'm off to eat dinner. Do you want something?"

Yuxin shakes her head and Xueer was now out the door. Once her room mate was gone, she took a glance of the invitation and regretting it because it only brought more stress.

Bringing her fingers to her temples, she massages it a bit while her eyes were closed. So close to having a migrane.

Now she remembers why she did not grab Zhuoyi's hand when they were at the station. It was pretty obvious. Zhuoyi's dreams for the future, it was something she couldn't give to her.

She groans in frustration and it was all too much to take in now. Different kinds of feelings were now stacking up and she was getting overwhelmed. The thought of Zhuoyi was drowning her. But she liked it, she wanted to drown in so much of her.

All she wants is Zhuoyi, anyways. But she knows it was pointless to want her because no matter how eager she was, how much feelings and love she has yet to pour, she was not the one to make Zhuoyi's dreams come true.

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*untitled

I miss LinFan already what the fuck