heal me ➢ bbh

heal me

 Everything surrounding you started seeping into brighter colors the first time you saw him.

It wasn't a particular day. The sun was hiding behind fluffy clouds painted in streaks of gray, the breeze fluttering the curtains by the big windows felt colder than it should have been in the mid of May. While the adorable daisies were eagerly starting to pop in the grass, it was hard to grasp the spring with such unstable weather. Your gaze was lost in the immensity of the sky, it was one of those days. Those days who blended in with the rest, those who were blurry whenever you tried to recall them- and you- you just existed, sitting by the desk in the classroom while people walked past you, sat in their seats and acknowledged each other. You were there and yet it felt as if you were just invisible. A sigh pushed past your lips as you mentally encouraged yourself. It was going to be another of these unbearable days, treated like you were absolutely nothing more than dust, but you knew you were going to make it until the end of the day, like always. While the sun was up, you allowed yourself to show only one expression, only when you were in the safety of your home would you finally let the loneliness overwhelm you. You let it take your breath away from your lungs and spill from the edge of your eyes, into small but infinite tears. 

The ringing bell was just a distant sound while you tried your best to swallow the growing lump in your throat. Thinking about how lonely you felt would always end up in you hurting your own feelings. But for the first time, you didn't have to calm your own frantic heart, for when the teacher entered with a new student next to him you totally forgot about what was going through your head. It had been a while since a new face had entered this class. In fact, you had memorized everyone's face and names on the very first day, while you were sure that no one even remembered yours. The boy looked tall next to the teacher although his height was just average. Your heart skipped a beat, there was something that struck you when gazing at him. It wasn't his incredibly intriguing droopy eyes, nor the way his brown hair fell so beautifully down his face. And although you were taking notice of all of these things, it was neither the way his smiley-like lips pronounced his name or how his voice was the most melodic sound you'd ever heard. 

"I'm Byun Baekhyun, please take care of me." He introduced himself shortly and you found yourself slightly flinching when his orbs pierced right into yours as he spoke. That, that was what struck you. You had never seen this boy before, and yet- as no one had ever done in many years, he hadn't looked just past you, right through you as if you weren't there. Instead, he had held your gaze while his serious expression had shifted into a gentle smile that you had never had directed to you and you just could not comprehend it, nothing of it- that someone had just acknowledged you, although in the most minimal of ways. It might be something completely irrelevant for anyone, but you couldn't just help the swelling heart inside of your chest, how it trembled so eagerly that you felt it rub against your ribs. 

As if a sheet of paper splashed with watercolor, you felt yourself absorb its colors and slowly but surely you became a part of the world you were living in, and no longer a mere wallflower. 

The second time you shared contact with him was a good amount of days later. You had to admit, his mere presence had made your life so much more interesting, it felt as if you had discovered a new book that you just knew you were going to love, and perhaps, you had become more eager to live it. Every morning you would wake up with anticipation buzzing through every inch of your body. It was a feeling that you couldn't help, nor did you know how to handle it, the curiosity that bloomed within you as if flowers in the wild. Were you being odd? It wasn't like you followed him around or anything of the sort. You contented yourself with stealing glances at him in class, and little did you use the excuse that he was answering the teacher to stare at him a little more freely.