Maddie's dream

CHAPTER 6

"Okay okay hear me out," Shawn says through a mouthful of bagel. "Why do seagulls fly over the sea?"

"Why...?" I reply reluctantly, knowing it was going to be some stupid joke.

"Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!" he says, laughing at his own joke.

"Wow," I reply honestly. "That was a terrible joke."

Shawn and I have really gotten to a level of friendship where we can joke around and lightly insult each other, which I think is awesome. I see him less like Shawn Mendes the scarily talented pop star, and more like Shawn, a stupid, goofy, and genuine boy.

We finish up our lunch and head back to the studio. We went to our favorite bagel place, which is our main spot during the day on breaks from rehearsal. I have gotten less and less nervous about singing in front of everyone in that room, which is probably good considering I'll be singing in front of tens of thousands of people next week.

I haven't heard from my parents much. My dad hardly gets to contact me, and my mom is busy with work. I have talked to her a few times and introduced her to Shawn over facetime. She's coming to the show that's closest to our house.

Rehearsals are wrapping up, our first performance is in a few days. It's in LA, which is lucky because at least it's a comfortable start. I mean, as comfortable as singing in an arena for the first time can be.

Earlier that day I had offhandedly mentioned how I was having a difficult time repacking the things I had brought and newly bought to take on tour with me. Alicia, who has been super nice to me throughout this whole process, offered to come over and help me.

I had just started pulling my empty suitcases out from under my bed when I heard a knock at the door.

"Come in!" I yell.

"Hey Maddie, I brought a pizza," Alicia says as she opened the door.

Thank god, I didn't have a plan for dinner.

"Woah," she says, walking into my room. "This is a lot of stuff. You weren't lying when you said you needed help."

"Yeah, I know. It's fine, I think it'll just start shoving it all into bags," I say.

She perches on the edge of my bed and watches me.

"So," she begins. "How are you feeling?"

I sigh and put down the shirt I'm folding.

"I honestly don't know, I'm really nervous about everything which I feel like makes sense, but still, it's so scary. I'm also super excited though because I have never sung in front of this many people and it seems like rehearsals are going well."

"Oh for sure," replies Alicia. "It's totally natural to be nervous about something like this and honestly I'd think there was something wrong if you weren't nervous," she laughs. "But you're going to do great. Sometimes I forget how young you are- how are you holding up without your parents?"

I sigh, she brought up the one thing I've been trying to avoid.

"Well," I say, "I'm not really sure. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my dad is in the military so I don't get to see him much anyways."

She nods sympathetically.

"It's hard," I continue, "because even with my dad gone all the time I have always been much closer with him and he is really supportive of me. I love my mom but we just don't communicate as well as I do with my dad. I haven't heard from him in awhile but that's pretty normal. I talk to my mom occasionally but the conversation is always so dry. She is coming to a concert though and I'm excited for her to see me up on stage."

"Is your dad coming?" Alicia asks.

"I don't know," I say, playing with the shirt. "He said he would, but you never really know. It's scary because I never know if he's safe or when he's going to come home next."

"Well I hope he's able to make it because I know he'll be very proud of you," says Alicia. "If he can't come home, we'll take a bunch of videos of you to show him. He'll get to see you living your dream, whether it's in person or through a phone, I promise."

I smile meekly at her. She has been so thoughtful and kind to me throughout this whole process, and it is really nice to have someone who I feel like is in my corner and supports me.

"Come on," she says, folding one of my dresses. "Let's finish packing up your stuff."