You Wouldn't Understand

Chapter 2 : Is Everything Okay?

~TW for self harm and self hatred~

Damian's pov

I sat in my bathroom, birdarang in hand, staring at the self inflicted barcode on my thighs. After a few minutes of staring and shaking hands, I made another cut on my right thigh. I winced but continued with grandfather's words ringing in my head.

Be good enough.

Do better.

There's no point of improvement if you're not capable of it.

That will be you if you don't reach my standards.

In the end, I made five solid cuts on each thigh; ten in total.

"Master Damian, dinner is ready." Pennyworth called from the bedroom door.

"I'll be down in a minute Pennyworth." I responded, hiding the panic in my voice.

"Very well."

I grabbed a black towel that I reserved for cleaning up cuts and wet it slightly. I dried the cuts and grabbed some bandages, wrapping them around my thighs they securing them with a small silver pin.

I pulled on my pants and splashed cold water on my face to shock myself into reality. I cleaned the birdarang and put it in my nightstand before exiting my bedroom and making my way downstairs.

When I entered the dining room, I found Grayson and Drake already eating at the table.

Grayson paused his eating to greet me. "Hi little D." I hummed in response, sitting down carefully so as to not aggravate my thighs.

"Where are Father and Todd?" I asked as Pennyworth placed my vegetarian dinner in front of me. "Thank you Pennyworth."

Pennyworth bowed. "You're welcome Master Damian. Your father is still with the Justice League, some villain decided to crash their meeting. Rather foolish. And Master Jason is out with Mister Roy." He informed me. I nodded and began eating.

"So Dami, I heard you and Jon are going to be going on a solo mission sometime soon. Are you excited?" Grayson asked, wiping his mouth with a napkin. I swallowed before responding.

"You're just like Kent. It's not supposed to be looked at as 'exciting', it is to be looked at as serious and a chance to prove ourselves." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Well it is kinda exciting." Grayson mumbled. I scoffed.

"Don't worry Dick, the little demon is just worried about looking good in front of his boyfriend." Drake teased. I clenched my fists, feeling hurt from being called a demon again.

"Shut up Drake. Kent is not and will never be my significant other. I don't have time for silly things like that." I paused. "Besides, I'm not of that sexual orientation."

"Sure..." Drake rolled his eyes. "What if I say the superbrat isn't worthy to be a hero? Is that gonna bother you?" He asked with a smirk.

"Shut up Drake." I growled.

"Or if I say he'd be better off to work on the farm? He'll never live up to Superman's legacy-" I threw my knife at him. "WHAT THE HELL!?" Drake shouted, just barely catching the handle before it would've hit his face.