Answering God's Call

Answering the Call

ANSWERING THE CALL

" I, sister Maria Anna Theressa San Diego, SCGR of St. Nicholas De Tolentino Parish, and I will promise for life chastity, coversion of life and obedience according to the rule of our Mother Foundress Maria Schinina in the Congregation of The Sisters Of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, before God and the saints, whose relics are preserved here in the Presence of Most Reverend Mother, Maria Judy Lei, SCGR, Mother Superior General, of this convent and the sisters of this community in the assembly..., In witness whereof, I have written in this document, with my own hand on the 10th day of May in the year of Ecumenism and inter-religious Dialog. " I uttered.

"Sister Maria Anna Theressa, the God of life and love calls you" - sister Imee, SGCR directress

" God you have called me, here I am" - I said

" what is it that you desire of God, the church and the congregation of the Sisters of Sacred Heart of Jesus?." - our mass celebrant asked.

" I desire to make perpetual profession in the congregation of Sisters of Sacred Heart of Jesus and in this way dedicate myself to our Lord forever." - I said.

"Thanks be to God" - our celebrant and my co sisters said.

Then, all I had heared was their applause. Right after, Mother Superior called me to have a message to everyone who attended my final proffession.

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All of us in this wonderful world has a purpose, born to be with someone we love, born to help other people or even born to be an instrument to others. Everyone has their own story, or let me say, we have different destiny, different beliefs, and desire that we want to fulfill. Everyone is called to different vocation, and this is mine.

Hi. I am Anna Theressa San Diego. It's my real name. According to the rule of our congregation, everyone who will take their profession will add " Mary or Maria in their name.  I grow up in my grandparents care, in Davao. I was in grade 8 when I became a youth coordinator in our church. As their leader, We conducted prayer meeting once a week, every Friday and I think that was the first time I heard him calling me to follow Him.

Ms. Cabil enter our room approaching her table at the center saying " So class, these are the results of your NCAE."

When the paper was given to me, I immediately read it. My world suddenly stop when I saw the result. I am 100 percent in Spiritual Vocation. I couldn't believe that I will get perfect score. Since that day, I really think God is calling me, everynight I am dreaming about nuns, I don't even know why I am dreaming like that. It bothers me a lot even in my studies but I have to handle that feeling, I just set aside it and focus my time in serving the Lord as well as my study.

It was Sunday, before the mass has ended. The CAC president in our church announced that there will be coming fellowship. After that we call for a meeting. I ask them to participate in our interpretative dance. We practiced " Footprints in the sand" for one week. Luckily, we won! It's a very great compliments and achievements that we've done. I can't resist the tears coming out from my eyes. I was so happy at that moment.

Everything is just really temporary, I left Davao and my co-youths because I have to study in Manila for my Senior High School. I focus myself on studying the reason why I don't even think my vocation too much but as usual I am attending mass every Sunday. I also encounted internet friends who were aspiring to be sister too, even the nuns. But there is only one congregation that capture my heart so much.
A conversation in messenger.

" Hi would you like to join us in our search in?" - ate Lea , one of my internet friends.

" oh? Really? Where? " I asked in overwhelmed feeling.

" In Quezon City, if you are willing to join, I am going to fetch you at Central Mall." she said.

" Okay! I will ask permission to my mother first, thank you!"  I said with a smile.

After that, I immediately ask a permission to my mom, fortunately she allow me. Then minute later, ate  Lea chatted me saying I have to open my official account. She said that Sr Imee had chatted me.

" Hi, Anna. This is sr Imee of Sacred Heart of Jesus. Did you already ask a permission to your mother?" - sr Imee

"yes sister" - I said

" can I have your mother's contact number?" - sr Imee

So that's it I gave the contact number of my mother to sister Imee

It's Saturday! I am arriving to makati because we have our dance practice. At 11:00 I went home and get my bag then I immediately go to Convent.
Fortunately, I and ate Lea meet for the first time. Then I meet ate Camille and ate Cristal too. It's too nice to be with them ( SCGR ). I really feel their presence and the sense of belonging. I feel comfortable at the first Place. It was my first search in and it was really memorable. I had a time to share my vocation to them and to have quality time with God. When I was preparing my things, I don't know why I feel I don't want to go home. I want to stay more. Then definitely, Before I leave that congregation, I cried.
I said that " ngayon lang tong iyak na to.. Sa second visit ko 'di nako iiyak."

As the time passes by. I think I can't resist what I feel anymore. Did you know the feeling like..

" ang bilis ng oras, ayoko pa umuwi "
" bakit parang may humihila sa akin, parang may magnet sa loob"

I visited their convent again. Then, unfortunately, I cried again when I was going home and it became normal, usual happenings when I am visiting their convent. I am always praying to God to keep my desire burning. I already gave up this vocation/calling but then, I always end up saying " Lord, Here I am again, I can't give up this desire, please forgive me." I ask for many signs and then God never failed to show it.
Did you know what's more difficult to me? It's an asking permission to my parents that I am going to enter religious life as soon as possible, 'cause I know that they have their own plan for me. It is to be professional. It is too hard to choose between your passion and profession. I love my family and I care for them so much. I am afraid to hurt and leave them with pain.

I am always crying and praying about this desire, it's really difficult to me. I am always overthinking that, it should be like this or like that. There are many "what ifs" which hinder me for what I want. Sr. Imee offered me to be their outside aspirant. Then, I immediately accept her offer. While I am finishing my college I used to visit the convent once a month its our agreement with sr. Imee as part of my being outside aspirant. Its not easy because, I already have a responsiblity inside the cloister. After finishing my college, I seek for Job and ask permission to mother superior so that can I go to Italy. It is my dream place ever! I really enjoyed there, I also visited their convent in Italy.

After a month, I totally enter the convent. I couldn't believe that I could reach this moment. Luckily, This is me now, I am already a bride of Christ, thank you for the gift of vocation Lord, I want to say thank you to my family, friends and relatives who never failed on supporting me. To my mother superior, Sr. Imee my spritual mother and my formator , thank you for guiding me and for not giving up on me. Thank you for all the advices and lessons that you've shared to me. I will keep it forever. To my co-sisters, thank you for the support, love and laughter that we've shared to each other. This is a new journey for me. Another beginning and challenges to encounter. God bless us always. May our Almighty God grant our deepest desire. I really appreciate your presence. Please continue to pray for us. Thank you so much!😍 God is so Good. Praise Him forever. Amen!