Our differences

"Kagamin"

"Kagamin~"

"Yes..?"

Konata peered into my eyes. "You seem off today.. what's the matter?"

I averted my eyes, shyly. "It's nothing." I twirled my hair. "I think this horrible weather is getting to me, you know?" I shifted my gaze to the ceiling.

"But that's the best time to stay home and do nothing!" She laid her head on the kotatsu.
For a moment, we sat in silence. The air felt calm.

"Could it be that..." she paused. "You got asked out by a boy..?" Konata teased. My face went a little pink.

"Of course not!" I groaned. "Even if I was asked out, it doesn't make a difference to me. I'd say no."

"Does that mean you like someone already?" Her face changed from a mischievous grin to somewhat of a serious expression. I glanced over at her.

Oh, how I wish I could tell her the truth; Yes, Konata. And that person is you!

But saying something like that.. and so casually, too! It just feels like a massive risk.

"Nah.." I mumbled. "You know how I feel about that kind of stuff."

She smirked. "Ohh, but Kagamii~ You'll become so lonely, won't you?" She leaned backwards. "I can tell, just by the look on your face, you know?"

I stiffened. There's no way she knew.. right?

"What do you mean?" I said after a moment. "I'm not lonely! I just.. I'm just not interested in anyone at the moment."

"That sounds like something a lonely person would say~" She teased again.
"Can it, you."

We sat on the floor quietly, staring up at the ceiling for what felt like forever.

"Then, what about in the future? Do you think you'll get married?" Konata asked me.

"Maybe, I dunno. I haven't thought about it." I sighed. A conversation like this.. with the person I like, too. I felt as though I was on the grasp of confessing to her.

But I couldn't. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't.

I could imagine the look on her face. Sure, she's not one to get weirded out easily, but I worried about it a lot. Maybe she would be confused..? Or worse, she'd be disgusted.

Besides, I decided long ago that I would carry this feeling to my grave.

"Kagamiii.." She broke the silence. "You're too quiet today! Did I hit a nerve or something?" Konata laid back down. I looked down at her.

Her sweet green eyes, and the caring look on her face. Agh! She made it hard to stay upset.

"No, no." I couldn't help but to giggle. "It's fine. I've just been thinking about my future lately."

"I haven't." She smiled, causing me to laugh a little.

"Well, I know you haven't." I poked her forehead. "I bet all you've been thinking about is anime and manga, am I right?"

"You got me!" She put her hands up, jokingly. "Nah, but seriously, I wonder if I should go to college or not.. maybe I'll just go straight to work."

"Where would you work?"

She went silent. "I haven't got that far yet." She giggled.

I rolled my eyes. "If anyone should be thinking about her future, it should be you!" I nagged. "Don't Tell me you're gonna live with your dad forever.."

"Eh.. probably not." She shrugged. "If anything, I'll just live in your basement."

"I can't tell if you're being serious or not.." I giggled. "Seriously though, we're seniors now. In just a few weeks, we need to start applying to colleges. Then, we need to finish this year up strong, so that we can have a chance into getting into those colleges-"

"Kagamiii~ Let's talk about something else..!" Konata whined. "You're making my head spin."

"I guess it can't be helped." I giggled. My mind began to wander. I wondered if she had a crush on anyone. She asked me the same thing, so I figured, maybe it would be okay to ask the same thing back.

"Konata?"

"Mm?"

"Do you like anyone?"

She paused and looked at me, a grin growing on her face. "I dunno. Why? Are you interested or something?" She teased. My heart could've jumped out of my chest right then and there. It's almost as if... she already knew?!

But even then, I still wasn't ready to come clean.

"Konataa... I thought I already made myself clear.." I groaned. But even then, I struggled to hide the blush on my face. "And- even if I was— hypothetically— I.." My voice trailed off. I didn't know why I even bothered to add that last part. It only made it more obvious.

"Even if I was, wouldn't that kind of suck..?" I mumbled. Konata frowned.

"Whatcha mean?" She tilted her head.

"Well, gay marriage isn't legal in Japan at the moment, right?"

"I guess that's true.." She sighed. It was rare that I heard her sigh like that. Part of me wanted to be hopeful, that perhaps she was sad because she felt the same way..! But another part of me told myself not to get my hopes up.

"That reminds me, Konata.. You've never dated anyone.. have you?" I thought aloud. "And you always play those dating sims meant for dudes. Could it be that you like girls?" I realized I had gone a little far. Maybe she wasn't comfortable answering that..

"Well, I dunno." She looked up at me from the Kotatsu. "I don't have any dating experience, but I guess I wouldn't mind dating a guy or a girl." She said. "But even then.."

"Even then...?"

"Even though I don't have any dating experience, I do have a type!" She grinned. "Well, I guess you could say a couple types."

"They're all based off anime, aren't they..?" I frowned. "Konata, you know first-hand that anime girls are over-exaggerated.."

"Maybe that's true, but what else can you expect from me?" Konata smirked. "That's my thing: Anime. Maybe I'll date a body pillow." She laughed.

"Please– for my and your own sake, don't." I couldn't help but to crack a smile.

"Well, It's about that time, isn't it?"

"For what?" I asked

"For sleep. I stay up way later than you, but you go to sleep around 11, right?"

"Yeah, I guess that's true."

"I probably won't make it to bed tonight, so you can go ahead and take mine." She stood up and stretched. "There's a big event on my game tonight, and I can't afford to miss it."

"Yeah, yeah. Goodnight, then." I smiled before leaving the room.

I walked down the hallway carefully, as not to wake up Konata's dad and little cousin, Yutaka. Never before had I slept in Konata's room. Usually if we had a sleepover, we would sleep in the living room, or at my house.

But it felt different this time.