In Every Waking Moment

CHAPTER FIVE

"I feel Aidan's grief, I share it with him." - Nikolai

Serafine,

Have you every thought that the void is the most gluttonous monster created? I've tried to fill it so many times and yet it's still wants more, what more of me can I offer? What more of the world?

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Amelia

The night was cold and silent, yet here  was wearing a long fiery gown, with full make up on and hair styled into perfection. For the first time in months, I felt giddy. It's finally time for me to show my artwork to the world.

Art for me is the same as honing a child, trying to form it into something that is beneficial to society, art speaks truth, turns pain into beauty. I made those paintings with such gusto, hiding a part of myself in each strokes and now they're finally ready to be interpreted by many minds, judge and criticized by many eyes, and hopefully, loved by many hearts. Parker was already there, the party probably already started, I wanted to be late so I wont have to be go there nervously waiting for people, strapping on my heels, I walked over my car and drove there, singing, happy. Nobody is going to take this night away from me. Surprisingly, the building was full of people, people lining outside, in crowds and some paparazis taking pictures.

Parker and Lucian both have a wide connections, but I did not know it goes this far. I texted Parker that I was outside, parking and waited for him to fetch me. Instead of Parker, I saw Lukas in a tuxedo, his hair down, falling right to his shoulder, he opened my car door with a smile and mouthed wow the moment he saw me. I smiled back at him and took his hands. "You look breath taking Amelia." He whispered. I leaned closer to him, smelling his manly cologne, and look up to his eyes, tonight his eyes were a brighter shade of brown, he leaned over to me and planted a kiss on my cheeks. "And your artworks are magnificent." We walked together, hand in hand, I saw Parker and Lucian entertaining the guests inside.

"Lukas!" I rolled my eyes at a screeching sound of a bimbo walking over to us. "Baby, come look." Lukas gave me an apologetic smile and whispered, "Give me a few minutes to dump her, this night is all you." I laugh but didn't take the gesture as a compliment at all.

I greeted each people and talked to them about my artworks. I've never been this happier. I've accomplished something that was mine, just mine, no one else, and the people happily cherished it. People particularly are bidding at my main piece, it was painting of Aidan, writing in blood, pages bleeding into a picture of a woman.

"This painting was just sold for ten thousand dollars to an anonymous bidder!" Parker whisper-yelled at me, his hands clutching mine. I shrieked with him, happy at how much we are making. "Almost all of them are sold now Amelia! You are amazing." Parker gave me a quick kiss on the cheeks then continued to entertain other guests. I took my Polaroid  camera from bag, I wanted to freeze this moment, and took a picture of the people there. I walked around taking pictures until I saw a hint of blond hair walking towards me, I zoomed in and saw Aidan's eyes and accidentally snapped a picture.

"That was blinding." He said.

"What are you doing here?" I stood there, shocked. He gave me a guilty smile and tried to open his arms for a hug. "Fuck you." I yelled. People turn their heads to see what the commotion is all about, I gave them all a fake smile and walk out, I kept walking until I reached the parking lot. My heart pounding, he's not supposed to be here. Tonight of all nights, he's supposed to be gone.

"Amelia." His grunted as he finally catches up to me. Slowly, I turned around and slapped him, right across his cheeks, hard. He held his cheeks and held my stare as tears started falling from my eyes, still he walked closer and held me in an embraced. I pushed him away as hard as I can and slapped him again.

"You don't get to do that, you don't get to just walked back into my life, you left! Without a word, with nothing, you left me!" He grabbed me into an embraced again and slowly knelt in front of me, holding my legs, crying.

"I'm sorry but I did that for you." He said.

"Fuck you! Go to hell." I screamed trying to take his hands off me for the last time with the little strength left in me.

"You don't deserve me before, I was still hung up on Serafine." He continued.

"And you deserve me now? After touring the world with your book tour, after showering in every praises, after letting your life continue while you left me rotting, you think you deserve me now? Now that I managed to feel the smallest of my self-respect back?" I pushed him away wanting to go somewhere far from him, but he held my hand, his grip tight, and started pulling me closer.

"Amelia listen, you know how much I cared for you, darling. I am here and I'm all yours, no one else." I almost let him. I was hurt and shock and in pain, but to be honest, I still would have let him walk all over me again. Until I heard the sound of fist hitting someones face, and his grip went lose so fast that I hit the ground, someone scooped me up in his arms and jogged inside. He covered my face as strangers started noticing the commotion again and stop only to whisper to Parker to have the guards stationed outside the bathroom door.

This wasn't how I planned my night to turn out. It wasn't supposed to be this way. I was so happy that I was actually thinking of telling Lukas to ditch his bimbos and go on a date with me, because I was over that bastard.

Lukas grabbed a towel and started cleaning the gravel out of my knees, I must have hurt myself when I fell, I let myself cry as he gently cleaned up my wounds, I let myself feel.

"Open up! Let me in!" I whimpered as I heard Aidan's voice outside followed by the sound of Parker and Lucian, "You pale milky ass motherfucker, if you don't get out of here, we will sue your ass till you're scrubbed up for every penny." I heard Lucian said.

"Sue me for what? For entering your premise in a public event and being the highest bidder?" I gasps as I heard him say that, I wanted to go outside and tell him to fuck off, that the deal is off, but Lukas stopped me, he looked at me, and kissed away my tears, I let him do that, slowly, I embrace him and cry into his shoulder. I heard a ping as he push me gently and caressed his face.

"My family actually owns the Peanuts brand and we'll sue you for being the human version of snoopy the dog and oh, wait, would you look at that, you're not the highest bidder anymore, so get the hell out before your snoopy looking white ass will be sued for trespassing." I heard him yell, "I love you, Amelia." as he walked away. I let a string of curses then laughter fill me as I picture out Aidan's face next to snoopy. He does kinda look like him. Gosh, maybe it was meant to be, him coming here in one of the happiest moments of my life in order for me to finally push him out of my system.

"You are beautiful to me Amelia, even if you're a mess like this." Lukas whispered, he was still holding me, I holding him. I let time freeze as we stayed there holding each other, slowly he started humming the words, "I think of you. I want you too. I'd fall for you." I know this song, this is not one of his originals, Affection by Cigarettes After Sex, my favorite band.

"You like this band?" I asked, wiping away my tears.

"These are the type of things we both would know if you'd agree to go on a date with me." I thought about it, Aidan was still lingering in the back of my mind, my heart, he still held a big part of me, looking at Lukas, he was right to push me away weeks ago.

"Give me a month." I whispered, he held me and continued humming the songs till the last of my tears stopped, then kissed my forehead.

Parker and Lucian came rushing in after, bringing a bag of make up with them, they gushed about how beautiful I was, while fixing my hair and make up for me, and how talented and lucky and rich, all my paintings are sold out and there's a local newspaper outside waiting for me to talk about my art.

After they fixed my make up, I walked outside, trying not to limp, as a three people with cameras approached me, Lukas grabbed a chair and let me sit as I answer each and every question, happily as if nothing happened. This was my night, mine.