It has always been us

chapter 1- please don't let it be a goodbye

I am slowly waking up so i want to cuddle with my smol bean, i reach my hand over to wrap my body around him. My arm falls straight down to the empty pillow that Louis once slept on. I rub my eyes vigorously until i can see properly and try to get up and find him but the thunder and the pounding rain distracts me. I go over to the balcony hoping Lou is there drinking a cup of tea. He's not. Next i check the whole apartment every little spot cause he can fit anywhere but no hes nowhere to be found so i run over to my phone. I have one text message, my stomach starts to turn and i feel like throwing up.  "meet my in the lobby" i instantly know something is up. I run down four flights of stairs in slippers and a bathrobe. 

I see him pacing by the indoor pool i just start sprinting towards him because i realize he is safe  but before i hug him he pushes me away and points his eyes to outside. There are tons of paparazzi staring at us and my heart instantly drops. The first thing that i am able to say is Lou why are we down here . He takes a deep breath and says that Hazza you know how much i love you right, in that moment i knew what was coming. He continues to say I can't keep doing this, I can't keep hiding everything. Before i let him finish the tears start falling and I am able to spit out the words you doing this is proving that Simon is right and why would you want that after everything we have fought for, He interrupts me. Harry you know how stressful this is, i  am starting to think Simon is right. I can feel my face drop right there an then. But Louis what are we supposed to do now, what about the band we can't hide how we feel about each other, the fans will pick up on it in a heartbeat. 

I didn't want to tell you this right here and right now but since you brought it up, I will just break the news. I'm leaving the band. Right when he says that my heart stops beating and i freeze, the tears start coming and they are coming down hard and not stopping. Lou when are you leaving? Are you finishing the tour?what are we supposed to tell the fans? Lou pulls out a piece of paper of what he is going to tweet, i stare at it in disbelief but then i notice the date of when he is publishing it. TODAY YOU CAN'T LEAVE RIGHT NOW!! Lou starts to cry and i go in for a hug not caring about any paparazzi I just wanna comfort my baby. He then points to his suitcase in the middle of the lobby and he slowly starts to walk over and grab his stuff. I shout his name and signal him to call me when he gets home and when he's safe. Little did i know that would be our last hug, our last conversation, our last everything. 

while i'm sobbing i realize i have to tell the boys what happened and i slowly walk to the elevator but then i collapse. I get waken up by Niall, Liam, and Zayn. They are worried sick about me and are very confused where Louis is. I tell them the news about everything and they give me something i really needed, a hug. 

Later that night when i'm preforming at the concert all the fans have signs with blue hearts on them and while we sing They Don't Know About Us they all put them up and i just stop what i'm doing and admire what they put together. Luckily that was the last song so I didn't have to hold in my tears any longer. 

After the show i go and check my phone to see if Louis has texted me but there was nothing.  I can't hold in my anger anymore, i pull my long hair into a man bun and walk over to Simon and i let out all my hatred to him and how he ruined the one thing good about my life. Harry get over it, it was a stupid childhood crush, you have many girls that want you.in that moment i wasn't even thinking about how he was my boss , those words hurt me and i just couldn't  hold back what's on my mind. Simon I don't think you get it, i don't want just any girl, in fact i don't want a girl i only want Louis and no one else. 

The rest of the tour was hell. I didn't get one text from Louis and I cried every night because of it. 

Finally tour was over and the boys and i decided we were just gonna spend the time with one another and not leave each others sides. They were there for me 24/7 and always helped me through everything. I am so glad i get to call them my brothers. 

i hope you like this chapter because there are many more to come. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistake :)