What used to be

Thoughts on life

Life has taken its turn either in the wrong or right direction. I can't even tell anymore.

Everything around me is buzzing and passing me by in the speed of light. I can't keep up. But do I want to?

Do I want to know about the newest trends? What is considered acceptable in this new decade?

It tires me out. Being stuck in this bubble of constant questions. Giving me the biggest anxiety for trying to fit in, knowing that's not what I really want.

All my life I have been taught to be myself but it's immediately frowned upon if I just so much as utter a word that is out of line.

Mental health issues were never a topic that was talked about as much as it might be now. However, I am not sure if that really is the case.

All I know is that more than half the world population suffers and don't speak up about it because they are afraid.

Not about the fact that it would get them some sort of relief to finally be open but what the people close to them would think.

Will they treat me differently? Will they abonden me? Am I going to become an outcast?

Will I be like this forever?

The answer: No one knows.

It depends on the people around you and how strong you are as a person.

No one can say for sure that we will ever escape this trap of society and our way of thinking.

These days it seems even more impossible. Stuck up with the news and influencers telling you to buy the newest products to slim down, to get better skin, healthier hair, etc.

And of course, we will follow them. Because it worked for them so it can also work for me, right?

Maybe. Maybe not.

I know not everyone is like that. However, it's scary how much can be marketed and sold through our new way of living.

I just am sick and tired of this.

However, I am contributing to it and am not proud.

That's why I am slowly trying to change that. It will take some time but I believe I can make it.

I believe in you too.