Trapped

I look at the steely sky outside. The air there seems bracing but I'm dreading the journey, I don't know why. Perhaps it is because my dumb mind that I feel trapped here- its a normal feeling though, I'm used to it, I'll be fine when I get alone. Of course, I haven't been to places like this, I'd only imagined that airport would look like a railway station, only better. It's diferent, so different that I delude myself seeing two people there, sitting closer than necessary, it feels weird and inappropriate. Maybe they are close brothers but- what are they doing now! Maybe they are modern- I can't look there anymore- but maybe thats how they are in cities. Surely, they must be brothers.
Rajiv's phone rings, he answers it, and gives it to me after a while. 'Nisha's on the call' he mouths. So I put up a smile and start talking, 'Hello Nisha ji, how're you?'
'I'm all good. How are you feeling? Excited too much? How's it over there'
'It seems all new at the airport. Everything is so fancy. I'm missing home though.'
'Oho, you departed just this morning! Don't think about all that! Enjoy the honeymoon, I sound more excited than you!' she laughs, alone. Unable to blush, I force myself to chuckle so that my feelings become not too scrutable. 'So tell me, how was your last night' she pelts at me teasingly.
'Your bhaiya's here' I hush.
'Yes yes I know you are shy, it happens. Tell me later okay, safe journey, bye!'
It happens. I tell myself. The last time when I told myself this was about an year ago. I was talking to my mother while she was grinding something, preparing me for my future role. On a whim, I told her I didn't want to get married, she said she knew I am afraid to miss my family and I have all those fears a normal girl has, but it will all be alright. She caressed, and I got carried away, I told her that it was because I never have any dreams of marriage. I never even once fancied Salman khan or Shah Rukh Khan when my friends were immersed in debating over who's better. She kept telling me I was just being paranoid. Tired of explaining, I dont know what came to my my mind when I said 'But I like Sheetal' out loud. Never had I ever heard myself saying this, even to me. I was always too afraid and this time I swayed. She comforted me saying something about missing my friends and all, that didn't make sense. She didn't understand me, neither did I. Something in my eye then, perhaps warned her or indicated something, she suddenly went ablaze with anger. She said I was too much involve in bad company and I needed to stave her impact off me. Whatever voice was left it me, I used that to utter, 'She likes me too, I feel'. Now coming to think of it, it didn't make sense then and it doesn't make sense now. What was I thinking? The brothers in front of me, stood up as their flight number was announced, and arm in arm, they walked away. Nothing about them seemed right though.
I remember my mom asking me at her loudest voice, that how much more was I hoodwinked by Sheetal's 'deceptive educated talks'.
I don't blame her though, she had to be angry when her daughter was going off-tracks. Our flight number is announced too, we go to our queue, I feel Rajiv's hand on my back. I feel a sudden upsurge of resentment. He keeps touching and I keep ignoring. It reminds me of yesterday, I don't feel good. But maybe that's how it is supposed to be like. I smile back at him, clearly looking at him as he looks forward for our honeymoon.