let me chase you

Hidden feelings

Aman's pov

It was painful saying those words to kartik it hurt so bad. All I wanted to say was I like you, I like you so much, I can't help it. Please understand me I am scared. All I wanted was to hug him.

I sometimes don't understand kartik. It feels as if he is playing games with my heart. He confuses me with his words, with his action. But with each word each action I fell even more for him.

And all I can do is observe him from afar. All I can do is watch him flirt with other girls. Especially Devika. Honestly it's like watching a horror movie watching Devika flirt with him.

Maybe I should just give up. Maybe I should just let him go. It's not even legal to be gay. And I can't be gay, what would papa say.

I can already hear his disgust filled voice in my head. Papa has always been homophobic. There was this one time where they were showing some gay related news. I don't think I have seen my dad swear at something as he did on those poor gay people who were just protesting for their rights.

That day was one of the most horrid day of my life. As it got me thinking about my sexuality and how I would his greatest disappointment.

I have always received only love from my family. But I have seen their anger never experienced it but I seen the worst.

Even mom wouldn't take my side. After all hamare ghar mae sirf papa ki hi chalti hai. (In our house only dads words matter) 

Then it's obvious that nothing would ever go as I want it go. I can never call kartik mine. No matter how much I want him to, I can't.

I don't fear the society. Because my dad is worst than the  society. I remember very clearly what happened to the gay couple who where found in our town. It was my dad who suggested to beat them up and then send him to some baba who can fix gay. And my dad is a fucking scientist himself. So yeah, you get the gist.

Maybe I should......I don't know what to do.

☆☆☆

Kartik pov.

"He is such a beauty." I said dreamily as I stared at every so handsome Aman.

"Kartik, if I heard you speak one more time about how beautiful Aman is, then I swear to god, I am literally gonna go to him and fucking tell him how much like him" Sam literally screamed beside me. Her statement made my eyes go wide. No she won't, she can't.

"Oyy, how dare you? Teko yaad hai, jab tujhe sid pe crush tha tab mai kitne daer tak teri bakwaas sunta tha" (remember when you had crush on sid, how long I used to hear your nonsense).

"Haa I remember, but atleast I had the guts to go and tell him, that I like him, and see today we are going to be married in 2 weeks." She fought back.
That's true. I remember the day very clearly. It was the last day of college when Sam said fuck it and proposed sid. Little did she know sid was going to propose her too. After that it was a rollercoaster ride for them.

"I still can't believe you are getting married, and that too to your love of your life" I said to her. I can't believe I am going to send my best friend away.

"Nothing is impossible, kartik, just go and tell him how you feel, maybe he feels the same about you. You won't know until you try."
I know. I bloody know she is right. But I am scared so damn scared.

I think Sam read my thoughts because what she said next shocked me to my core.

"I am so fucking tried of you being tired of you being scared. It's not like you have done anything wrong, you are being just you. If anything it's you whose wronged. You know what kartik, I am giving you till my wedding, either you confess or I am going to, got it"

♡♡♡

Hii!!!!!
I know it's been sooo long since I last updated. I am so sorry about that.

This chapter is unedited, so point all the mistakes I will fix it later.

The thought that I wrote in Aman's part are kinda my own. These are the thoughts that are haunting me almost every day. It's so scary.  So I thought of expressing my thoughts and then I thought why dont I express it through Aman. So yeah....

Anyway bye till next time.

Love yaa