in love

the beginning is just the end

im in love. its as simple as that. but its really not. hes my best friend. and somehow as i write those words i end up thinking "i love him so much." this has to be love. because its nothing like ive ever felt before. it makes all my feelings for other guys seem like simple crushes that were meaningless. because this isnt a feeling of craving him. but a simple "i wish i could be with you all the time." i dont crave him. i dont think about him every second of my life. but he is always the person i think about before i go to sleep. and i wake up thinking about him aswell. and sure he occupies my dreams. but thats it. i dont think about him nearly as much as i thought about my crushes. now if your thinking that i don't actually love him. your wrong. because the person you love isn't supposed to take over your mind 24/7. they should be the person you want to spend your life with. fall asleep with. wake up next to. share everything with. but you have to have distance. if you think about him all the time how can you live like that. its simple. you cant. you need to be able to think about the important things in life while still being able to love your person. they should be the person you want to tell everything to. the person you never get sick of. who always makes you happy just by their presence. love is weird. its the strangest thing you will ever feel. but its amazing. and when you find it you will be so refreshed. because lets be honest crushes are hell. but love isnt. not even close. sure im in love with my best friend and he has a girlfriend (who isnt me) but im still secretly in love. and i know what it feels like now. he showed me what true love is. and he doesnt even know it. i dont think about him all the time. but when i do i always end up thinking "i love him." and i move on with my day. still in love. still hoping one day we will be together. cause love gave me patience. i dont feel the need to have him right now. i just hope one day we can be together. i confess that i love him. just dont let him find out. i dont want to ruin his relationship or get in the way. sure it hurts knowing their together. but its nothing like a crush. i accept that hes with another girl. because i love him. i want him to be happy. and one day. if this truly is love. we will be together.