thoughts
the problem with all of this was
that no one could have prepared us for it
we couldn't possibly decipher the cause
and there was no chance that we'd ignore it
it took one case which set off all others
and just like that the rise induced the fall
the fall of the soldiers who fought for their mothers
the fall of those who just hit a wall
the mind is a powerful thing
it can lift you to the highest of highs and take you to the lowest of lows
it can make you feel like you're just holding on to a string
it can make you feel like you're succumbing to all your woes
the worst of it all is that it can beat you up like no other can
and whilst everyone was advised to stay away
her mind just wanted to do away with the ban
because alone those wicked thoughts would come back out to play
feeling utterly useless and worthless
doubtful of what's to come
having no plan leaving her wordless
wishing she was as good as some
and with everyone saying there is nothing to do
and with her neverending list forever growing
she felt herself forget what she was passing through
as if life was granting her the pause that she needed to keep going
numb to all thoughts, to all feelings
yet those thoughts came back crashing hard
forever trying to grasp to the small moments of healings
but every wave kept catching her off guard
day one billion of staying home and staying safe
day one billion of writing word after word
day one billion of her mind holding her a slave
day one billion of nothing but silence to be heard
in a dazed state
panicking in her loneliness
crying at her fate
desperately searching for her completeness
waiting for her moment where she could say she's made it
her moment where she could feel proud of herself
her moment even if she's delayed it
her moment, just hers, where she could just BE her own true self
and until that comes
until all the fear, all the stress disappears
until she gathers all the fragments, all the crumbs
she understands that it'll just be herself and her tears
but yet she prays for at least one glimmer of light
some sort of hope to help lessen the anxiety
because as much as she feels defeated she's still got some fight
and maybe eventually she'll fit in with society.
