Kiss √

TWELVE

[her]

HARU paused for a moment, her hand caressed her swollen red cheek. she was still as time passed. her eyes had frozen over with tears. her skin was as pale as sand. she was in shock, her eyebrows had raised, as her eyes grew for a split second.

she gazed at jimin, as his eyes filled with water. haru watched as he looked from his hand to her face like a disk on repeat. all of her air had been sucked out of her, as jimin turned to look at her, her numbness and emptiness spread, engulfing her.

haru sacrificed so much for her brother, but the one mistake that she made led to this. she wasn't ready to let go, she didn't want him to leave her. she had inflicted scars on him and he had inflicted scars on her. it was only fair, an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.

haru was broken beyond repair. years of heartache backstabbed her, and now her other half too had left her. her stone heart broke as she watched jimin.

haru's face burned. she turned as she sprinted away from jimin. her cheeks flushed a vivid shade of pink, as salt mixed in with her tears. she stumbled away, with pain shot through the soles of her feet. the yellow street lights lit up her way.

she bolted down the empty streets, balling her sweaty hands, as tears flew away blinding her. the pounding of her boots echoed as it matched the slow thumping of her heart, while she longed for the freedom of happiness. the happiness she never had.

every moment of her life flashed by, from ara to daehyun to jimin. every single pang of pain she suffered. every heartache that filled her life.

haru's shadows trailed her, sucking away her own happiness. she was her own shadow, and she was everyone else's shadow. they all lived in fear of her, including herself. her own shadows strangled the colorful snippets of color that once encased her soul. she was to blame, as the roses inside her shallow heart frayed.

if only she could turn back time, she would do it all again. she would relive those same memories again.

the gloom chased her despite the illumination of the stars. her heart was hollow, barren just like the streets.

the icy gusts attacked her as she let her pain fly free. her fingers trembled with every thought of jimin.

haru panted for air, as her legs ached the further she ran. she remembered the swirling smoke of regret, how it once consumed her. her world fell away drained of all color and light.

the stench of mold, and mildew absorbed her. the beat of her pounding footsteps was ringing. her head was swarming with regrets, as her insides ripped into tiny shreds of paper.

she lost her mind as she cried, as every tear surfaced and broke free. haru cried all her pain away. not even her tears wanted to be with her cracked self.

haru sat on the old wooden bench amidst the lifeless abyss. the yellow grass was weaved in perfectly with the green, besides it a large wilting oak tree on the left, and a yellow street lighted cobbled with webs on the right.

the dead leaves of the trees dusted her hair. shrouded from the guilt, her head tilted toward the wilting plant. she gazed lifelessly at the dry crinkled leaves. they were just like her once full of life and once the branches shook and the cold winter winds blew, they wilted and fell.

if only she waited just a bit longer for jimin. they could have flown together with the pain and smiled. they could have held hands together, and walked through the pain.

haru was all alone in this harsh reality, broken by the truths that swallow her. apathetically her lips pursed into a smile, as she breathed in tears sniffling away her hopes and dreams.

the chilling atmosphere assaulted haru. her mind caved as her thoughts pierced her heart. she camouflaged herself from her reality, drowning from herself she gasped for air.

even jimin had found a family despite the hardships he had gone through, haru didn't have anyone, no family and now no brother. they were all gone because of her, her heart decayed as she lost her bliss. she painted her face with a smile, despite spiraling into the pits of darkness.

haru closed her eyes. as her breath wavered, with tears trickling down her cheek. she sang, her voice cracked as she let go of all the pain.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry

i'm sorry my brother.

even if i try to hide it

or conceal it, it can't be erased

are you calling me a sinner

what more do i have to say"

she could hardly recognize her reflection in the puddles of water below. every time she stared at herself, haru didn't know who was staring back.

haru retracted all the bad things she had ever done to jimin, or ever said, reminiscing the good moments. jimin was gone, but her hope for him still remained. a tiny speck among all the other emotions.

she only wished the color in her soul would return as she was shattered by her empty thoughts. all that remained was her barren hope to be loved just once again.

her broken heart kept beating; it was just the harsh reality. she taped down her sorrows as her last conversation kept replaying like an echo, stabbing her with every wrong she had done. her only world had crumbled. the only one she cared about had beaten her up, reopening the wounds that had once healed.

maybe she was a murderer, if that's what jimin thought of her, why not live up to his expectations.

she encased her heart in stone once again as a heavy blackness covered the sky. she pulled out her gun, wiping away her tears, and with it the last bits of haru.