The Broken Sister -Book 2-

3.

~Venus~

Dear Diary, (oh god this is so stupid) 

Dr. Evans said that writing on the really bad days is super important so here I am. Yesterday was my birthday, I finally said thank you to Landon for giving me away. My brothers spent the whole day at my house and we watched movies, played board games, and of course, had an amazing dinner with red velvet cake. 

Today was the complete opposite of yesterday.  I just felt wrong, Everything just went wrong. I had gone to bed happy and content with every aspect of my life. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling super nauseous and went to get some water.  My head was killing me so I took some medicine and then went back to bed.  I woke up before everyone else as always, but I think I had a nose bleed in my sleep. My pillow was stained crimson red and dried blood on my nose. I guess that's when I should have told dad, but he has enough on his plate with work and everything ad I'm just so tired of feeling like I'm the reason he's so stressed all the time. He didn't have so much gray hair before I moved, Noah revealed that secret to me accidentally.  

Instead, I switched the pillowcase out and threw the other one out.  Breakfast was super quiet in the morning, Dad looked tired, Noah looked guilty and I didn't have an Appetite anymore. Later on, I found to that Noah was too loud playing video games last night and dad got irritated after e told Noah to turn it down a bit multiple times 

(Dr. Evans, I don't understand why I must write everything down, I already know what happened. I  LIVED THROUGH IT. UGH)

Dad rarely yells at us and when he does it can be pretty rough. I guess Noah was a little bit upset about that, plus he isn't allowed to play any videos for the rest of the month. 

(I know you're going to ask why I didn't say anything to my dad, But Dr. Evans how could I. I would only make the morning worse. I'm sorry if I knew what was going to happen I would have said something right away.)

Dad worked in his office for the rest of the day and Noah and I sat in silence in the living room. I tried reading but it hurt my head too much to even look at the words.  Eventually, I just starred at the TV that wasn't even turned on. 

Eventually, Noah and I decided to go in the back yard for a while to get some fresh air.  We were kicking a ball back and forth when it happened. I got super dizzy, and everything fuzzed together.  I remember stumbling and Noah coming toward me. I tried to want the patio steps to get inside but I stumbled again and barely caught myself on the steps so I wouldn't hit my head. Noah tried to help me up but I knew he couldn't So I did the one thing I knew would work even though I should never be alone like this. I told Noah to get dad.  Well, I mumbled it out best I could.  I could already feel the blood dripping from my nose. 

I saw Noah's blurry figure disappear into the house and then I was all alone. 

(I know what you are going to say, Dr. Evans, "you were already on the floor so how did everything else happen?) 

Well, I was still semi-conscious and was leaning against the steps on the patio, I could feel the edge of the step digging into my leg and I defiantly didn't need more blood the leave my body so I tried to get up and move a little. But the hand I used to hold myself up slipped and I felt the step dig dipper into the leg. I also landed on my chest which hurt a lot. Then that's when I blacked out and Woke up in the hospital. 

I failed at being a daughter and scared my dad AGAIN. Dad told me I was seizing when he came outside with Noah. He got me off the steps and onto the patio ground while Noah was on the phone with 911. I haven't had a seizure since the time when I lived with my brothers and chase blew up on me. So when I found out I got scared too. 

(You know this part I assume, I mean you talk to all my doctors)

The Doctors told my dad that my seizure medications are no longer working. Here I go again, Venus making her dad stress out even more, and my brothers were outside freaking out too. Doctors said  I would try some new trial meds because nothing else is working. They also said if it gets any worse I might have to stay long term admitted so they can keep an eye me. UGH

Dad and I talked, and he mentions a service dog after discussing everything with my brothers. Doctors said it might be good so that I won't end up here again. But still, why can't I be normal. I mean I already watched my mom, my neighbor abused me, my fake dad hurt me and tried to give me away, and my brother land DID give me away like GEEZ LET ME LIVE.

I'm still stuck in the hospital, but the Doctor said I can leave a little after dinner time, they want to run a few more tests and see what else is wrong with me. 

SEE!! IM BROKEN!! 

that's all I got DR.E

Oh I figured out how I'm gonna end these things 

-The Mistake Herself, Vee 

P.S I know-how these sessions go and I already filled you in on everything here so don't worry you'll have time to tell me how wrong it is to end this entry with that. and even after that, I'll have plenty of time to answer "How does that make you feel?" and "what is going on inside that head of yours?"

I closed a weird ugly journal filled with total bullshit and picked up the light blue blanket from my lap. I gently tugged the hospital blanked up to my shoulders and laid down. I don't want to be here long term, I'm in high school. I want to live a little and go to parties and get good grades. I want to make friends and hell maybe even be a prom queen. Well, that last one is a joke, but still. I just wanna live. Not in a bubble as a broken girl, but as a wild teenager who makes mistakes and gets into trouble, not too much though. 

"Hey, sweetheart" I looked toward the voice. Landon.

"Hi" I simple responded

He walked over to the bed and sat down at the chair beside me. 

"How are you feeling?" His voice was calm but I could tell he had bees stressed out and were trying to hide his worry.

"Tired, but I'm okay" I lied. the Truth was I felt exhausted and empty. 

The meds were wearing off and the buzz in the back fo my head and slowly creeping its way throughout my head. But I can't tell him that. 

He literally gave me away so he wouldn't have to worry about this anymore. I don't need him more worried than he already is.

"That's good, The doc told us you can go home later tonight. Chase, Luke, and I are going to come over and help out for a couple of days Too." He said letting his wall come down, and I saw it. 

Those eyes, big and full of sorrow. Because of me. I was doing this to them...

"ok..." Was all I could say, anything else and I would have started crying. Pathetic 

Landon stood up and kissed my head. I feel the bed dip meaning he was sitting there now. His hand brushed through my knotted hair lulling me to sleep. 

"I'm so sorry Vee" Was that last thing I heard before I drifted off into my own dream world.

1368 Words 

I hope you enjoyed the story? Sorry I haven't really updated anything. I've been spending time with family. I was finally able to come up to see my dad and cousins so it's been nice to spend time with them after months of missing them. 

I was thinking of answering some questions and I want to hear all your opinions on everything about the book. I love writing but I also want you guys to enjoy the book. So what can I do to make it better? 

I hope you are all staying safe and healthy. 

Updated June 18, 2020