NAMELESS

Prelude

Prelude
Seven

OUR first minute...napakalakas ng buhos ng ulan.  Sumasabay rin rito ang ihip ng hangin kaya't mas lalo lamang akong nanginig. This is torture...of course it is, it was actually intended that way but not to you. For you, this feels more like a refuge, where you can think clearly and act selfishly. This is where you can shed a tear all you want without them noticing, sorry tho but I noticed it. I noticed how it reddened your eyes and how it makes you sniffed a couple of times. I just hope I can have a share of whatever burdens you are having. I always care.

Tumayo pa ako ng matuwid ngunit hindi ko na talaga makayanan ang lamig. I pressed both of palms together and slide them to somehow produce heat  but your cold stares adds up more to what I am feeling.  Ibinaling mo ang iyong mga mata kasabay ng paglambot nito dahil sa kalituhan. In your eyes, I can see that I always look weird to you but nonetheless you still let me be. You never changed me into something I am not so thank you for that.

We stayed there until seconds to hours has passed. Namumutla na ang bibig mo, for sure ganun na rin ako kaya't pagak na lamang na tawa ang naihain ko sayo. You looked like a ghost, but one with the gorgeous eyes and thick lashes. Kalalaki mong tao pero bakit ang ganda mo para sa akin?! I enveyed  your unearthly beauty. They should've be mine!

Napasinghap ako ng unti-unting dumausdos ang mga kamay mo sa akin at hindi na muli pang binitawan ang mga iyon.

The second one feels surreal. Your footsteps are a llullaby echoed in the background as if I were in the movie. Can I brought them with me? I hope you don't mind and get mad if let you stand there still again, like we never done it always. Hands on your chest while singing your most hated song, one more time.

Sometimes, I'm just wondering if at least once you end up loving it too...I hope you do because I can feel my pounding heartbeat better this way, I hope you can with yours too. The world seems to stop for awhile before it turns round again. Before it built and shatters anything again. Hindi ko alam kung ano ba talagang ginagawa mo sa aking likuran ngunit rinig ko ang bawat pagtikhim at pagsenyas mo sa akin upang ipahiwatig ang iyong pagka-inip. Hindi mo alam ngunit tila nagwagi ako sa mga pagkakataong iyon dahil napapatigil kita at mas pinipili mong ituon ang atensiyon sa akin kesa sa dapat mong ginagawa ngunit pwede ba, tuluran mo rin ako minsan! Be a good student.

Of course you did but in the most mocking way. You shutted up but hug me from behind and place your hand in my waist. The soft trails of your fingers jolted the butterflies I have within. Naalala ko, hindi ka nga pala nakakausap ng maayos!

My third minutes are quite sad but I still love them. You're always desperate and reckless to move as always. You're a storm meant for destruction but the way you hold me, it was softer than the wind, it chaotic yet at the same time, it assured me that I am going to be safe, I will and always will be.

It was you on that stage where I always dreamt of. It was you slowly building up your own castle my king. We're full of confusions and answerable questions thus it starts to suffocate me. I don't want these feelings but if I shared it with you, I will always welcome them with open arms.

The fourth minutes was my most favorite. Time has brought your heart to me later than it should be but nonetheless you promised to find me here in this lifetime and you did. I waited for you, I'm always waiting until the heaven grant me my second wish.

Those stars...I know they weren't stars but a string lights yet they are exceptional because they witnessed how you return the kiss you once stole from me. You met him too and it's just amazing how you get outside of our house still breathing and mocking me. How  you feel so calmed while seeing me tensed and half-breathing. One more turn and finally we lost it.  We both lose our sanities and fears.