When i fell asleep, i dreamt of what it would be like once we married. We would have to fave kids. Not for us but because my father expects me to have a family, same thing his father expected of him.To keep the family tree. I don't see why though, I meant the childrens last name would be the same as the fathers. I would no longer be Maylene Sophia Cospet, I would be Maylene Sophia Franchez. It would not be the Cospet family tree, it would be the Franchez family tree for the most part right? I suppose i don't really know, but i do not want to have kids with this person. I guess that's what I get for being the daughter of a Duke. Not that i had any say in that. But i should expect people to have high standards for me, I am actually fairly used to it by now.But this is one standard i cannot live up to. I refuse to marry this person, this stranger. I have been kind to everyone i have met in my life with very few acceptions and i do not think i deserve to have my life choices chosen by someone else.
Breakfast was fairly quiet with my fathers absence. It was only our maid and I.Neither of us really knew what to say. The only times i had talked to our maid were the occasional meetings while walking down the hallways, and even then we never really said anything more than a typical everyday conversations you might have with someone you barely knew. I guess i had never really thought much of our maid.
Once the eggs that had once been on my plate were gone i stood, wincing at the loud noise the chair made against the hard wood floor. Now it was time to bathe and dress before going to the fly market, then i must go to the bakery and pick up some fresh bread to take to my aunts house. It seems i had nothing better to do today than visit my aunt and the bratty cousins.
I chose my brown dress with lace ends after my bath. I might as well looks nice considering i will be out in public, even if the dress will likely be ruined the second i walk through the door of that house.
Once i was dressed i went to my bedroom and sat in the green and brown wicker chair. I sighed and ran my fingers through my mop of brown, tangled, wet hair. I looked closely, notcing the black circles around my eyes. The utter paleness of my face. I can do this. I can make this marrige thing work, I have to.It is not my choice and i musn't be unhappy about it. I must act as if nothing bad has happened. I must not let the village know that i am not happy. They must not know. No one must know.
I continued to tell myself these things while i sat there. As i looked into my blue eyes, i thought of my father. I thought of the way he had looked just the night before when he told me about the marrige. I could almost see his pain in my own eyes, could almost feel the despair he had surely felt the night my mother died. I felt sad for the loss of my future. I was sad for the happy family i knew could not have, but wanted so desperately. For the happy children, playing in the garden. For the swing set on the patio where my haooy husband and i would not ever exist together. For the grandchildren that would not get to have a happy gathering at grandma and grandpa's house on Christmas eve. It was for these things and many more that i felt sad.
I stood, bringing myself away from these thoughts as i slipped on my shoes. I was blinded by the light the second i opened the door. A man on a white and brown spotted horse waved at me as he passed. I waved back and smiled. My smile, although fake, did make feel the tiniest bit better. I like to smile. I have always loved smiling. My teeth are crooked but that has never stopped me from showing every single one of them when i smiled.
As i walked, i watched all the sleepy children of the town struggle to walk out the door for school. But then there were those few children seamed very excited about school. I only came across maybe three or four of those though.
"Dutchess," a friend of my fathers did a small curtsy as she approuched me. Dutchess? That is not what people usually call me. "I have hard of your soon to be. Are you excited about your marrige?" I tried to keep from turining red.
