The shadows on the wall, I feel like they're watching me. I feel like they're examining me, calculating what ill do next. I feel like an animal on display, with no privacy at all.
"Hello everyone. My name is Do Kyungsoo and today ill be talking about how it feels to love someone."
Ive felt this way ever since he died. He being my lover, Kim Jongin. He died from an overdose of his medications. You see, Jongin was seriously depressed and schizophrenic so he had to take pills for it. One day he gave up though. One day he was just so done with everything that he just gave up on life.
"Being in love is a wonderful feeling. You feel like you're floating and are extremely giddy all the time. You feel that you've never been happier in your whole life."
When Jongin died, i broke inside. My whole world shattered. When i came home and found him slumped on the bathroom floor, dead, i collapsed on the floor next to him and wailed the most heart-wrenching, soul-shattering wail there ever was, for Jongin was my everything, and my heart felt like a million shards of glass were lodged in it, never to come out.
"When you're in love, you feel that you'd travel to the end of the earth for the one you love."
The shadows have been watching. I think they know what i want to do, but they wont do a thing about it. In fact they'll probably just sit back and laugh cruel laughter, just like they did when Jongin died.
"I was in love once. It was the best seven years of my life. It started in my second year of high school. It ended last year."
My love died and so did i.
"Sometimes love makes you feel like you'll die without that one person."
I died. I withered up until i was just a fragile shell, just hallow bones under parchment skin. I didn't eat or sleep, and i kept to my room ever since the funeral. People who see me think that I'm just a pale and lifeless ghost, and none of my former friends recognize me anymore.
"And thats all for tonight folks! Go have fun with your one true love instead of listening to me ramble on. Do Kyungsoo out!"
Im sick and tired of it. Im done too. Im going to go join Jongin now. Goodbye cruel world, i wont miss you.
