Hello, it's me.

2

Blah blah blah

Everything is confusing no matter where I turn I don't know what to think I don't know what to feel what will make them happy? What will make me happy? I don't know i don't know i don't know. If i get an answer wrong is it wrong or is it an opinion can an opinion be wrong what are the facts: but there aren't always facts, what's the solution?? What should i say what should i do, is "should" a word that i should use- but there it is again- an opinion nevertheless, i don't get opinions. I don't know what to say i don't know what to do and if i don't know an answer then what am i to do don't know, i don't know

An answer that i do not know but everyone else gets right now already, should i know, maybe, but do i know, no, i didn't think it was something that i'd have to answer

I count one two three four five six again 1 2 3 4 5 6 again, i count i count 20: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20, even numbers calm me i click and blink and step and stomp and it bother me it's annoying but i can not not do it (it feels so wrong not to) left first always, right soon after, right is dominant if I mess up: right right right until i distract myself from counting to stop my obsessing

Bleed onto the keyboard with uneasy fingers i tap my time away with utter nonsense and gurgles and blabbers and mutters of words that are yet to make sense to myself in the future but now as i do it i bleed out the words and i don't know what to do this isn't art i would hate it if it weren't me: if i was reading this from another source: so as i go i hate it more my typing gets louder as i get madder i keep on making stupid mistakes this is all blubbering these are all words, i keep going back to fix my nonsense, i bleed my thoughts into the words i type out on the keyboard

Would anyone enjoy this would anyone read this and think what an artist; a real poeteer i hope not, i really hope not. I hate to read nonsense that is not art and this is not art because these are just random words mixed up and jumbled to a semi coherent ramble (i like this more if i use fancy words) and as the words come i just write what i think this feels good, much better, diarys stink