Alexandria's Notebook

That day. (Part one.)

 That day was the first time I heard my dad's voice in a while. He and I were sitting at the kitchen table, me staring at my iTunes list, he staring at his phone. Dad had came home from work to eat lunch with me. I made him a PB/J. I didn't eat. I couldn't eat. That day was the most traumatic of my life. Even more, after what happened. It was 12:14. I felt the hairs at the back of my neck rise up. One more minute, and it would be the official one year anniversary of my mother's death. I drew a cross over my chest as I saw the time change. I then  felt a shiver down my spine, and all throughout my body. I looked over at Dad. He was looking down the hallway, at the mirror that was installed at the end of it. I then saw him look to his immediate left, which happened to be the exact position of their wedding photo. I saw him return his gaze to the mirror, and sink to his knees. I heard him choke back a sob.

"Why?" I heard him say this in a dark voice that had never come out of him before. Considering that this was the first time I'd heard him speak in a couple months, I replied to him. "I don't know." He remained kneeling, possibly ignoring my words.

I went over to him, and put a hand on his shoulder. 

"We never will." He turned to look at me, tears rolling down his face after saying this. I simply shook my head, barely holding back tears of my own.

That's when he pulled out his pocket knife.

"I need to see her again." He sobbed out, putting the blade to his own throat.

"DAD!" I tried to rip the knife from his hand. It had already punctured his skin, but I didn't care.  "NO!"

 He was stronger than me, by far, so he had already dug it into his artery."You don't understand, you heartless piece of dog shit!" He spat a mixture of blood and saliva on my face, his words were garbled.  He removed the knife from his throat. "I advise you to do the same." He then fell forward, his neck bleeding onto the tile floor. I stepped back, tears flowing from my eyes, and an ear-piecing scream coming from my throat.